Last night, distasteful orange ghoul Perez Hilton took a break from grinding up other human beings and turning them into money to declare on his Twitter feed that "Inside every gay man is a fierce black woman!"
To which black women of the internet responded, ":-|"
When confronted with the fact that black women are neither cute accessories whose identities white people are free to take on and off at will, NOR homogeneous sassy ghosts whose sole function in life is to inhabit the shells of gay men and make them outrageous, Hilton has been predictably shitty—offering up such defensive classics as, "I AM genuinely hurt/saddened. Go back to your superiority complex and overreacting," "I didn't attack. They did," "The whole overreaction has really bummed me out. :-(," "I only apologize in life if it's with sincerity. I'm not sorry," "I'm not racist," "They should probably just ignore me and/or stop reading my tweets then," AND, ahem, "Some present logical arguments, but then Hitler attempted to justify the holocaust too."
Charlotte Church says Piers Morgan, human loaf of bread, was "a prick" to her during an interview about the intrusiveness of the press.
Church said of the encounter: "He was such a prick. His argument basically centred around, 'You're rich, you're making money out of this, who the f**k are you to question it?' I was like, 'I hate you!'
"I wanted to storm out and it took all my strength not to, and in that talk he basically told me about phone hacking and everything.
"He didn't say it happened at the Daily Mirror but it was in the video I had made [of the talk]. I gave it to The Guardian because when it all came out he was like, 'I had nothing to do with it', but I was like, 'Well, I've got a f**king video of you telling me how to do it from way back!'"
It's cute that he's all gung-ho about the imperviousness of wealth and celebrity, until he gets one fucking drop of backlash on Twitter and turns into a squalling rectangular baby-man. Whatever, dude. [DigitalSpy]
Former CNN anchor Miles O'Brien had his arm amputated last week after a freak accident on location in the Philippines (or maybe Japan—the post isn't quite clear).
He told fans on his blog, "I had finished my last shoot after a long reporting trip to Japan and the Philippines and was stacking the Pelican cases brimming with TV gear onto my cart. As I tried to bungee cord them into some semblance of security for movement, one of the cases toppled onto my left forearm. Ouch! It hurt, but I wasn't all "911″ about it. It was painful and swollen but I figured it would be okay without any medical intervention."
By Feb. 14 the pain and swelling were so bad that he went to see a doctor who had him admitted to the hospital. Emergency surgery was recommended to relieve the pressure, but the procedure didn't go as planned.
"Of course I wasn't awake for the action but I was told later that things tanked even further once I was on the table," he said. "And when I lost blood pressure during the surgery due to the complications of compartment syndrome, the doctor made a real-time call and amputated my arm just above the elbow. He later told me it all boiled down to a choice… between a life and a limb."
O'Brien continued, "So I woke up to a new reality in the hospital. It's been a challenging week dealing with the phantom pain, the vicissitudes of daily life with one hand and the worries about what lies ahead."
Wow, how bizarre and traumatic! Best of luck to you, Miles O'Brien! [Extra]
- Salma Hayek's brother was driving a car involved in a fatal wreck on Sunday. The passenger who lost his life has now been identified as Ian Cuttler Sala, a Grammy-winning art director. Condolences to his family. [People]
- This website claims that Michael Jackson was the first person ever to get a "facial hair transplant." Okey dokey. [JanetCharlton]
- Here's George Clooney being like, "Whoa, guys." [E!]
- Billy Ray Cyrus would like you to "Eat Your Achy Breaky Hearts Out, Suckas." You know what, I'm good. [TMZ]
- Michael Sheen and Sarah Silverman held hands (AND PROLLY TOUCHED BUTTS TOO IF WE'RE BEING HONEST HERE). [ONTD]
- Jenna Fischer is pregnant with her second baybay. [E!]
- All the Donna Karan Oscar gowns got lost at LAX!!!!! [E!]
- Coldplay released a SECRET SONG. [E!]
- George W. Bush is going to have his first art show. [People]
- Paula Patton is coping with her break-up by jogging, I guess. [E!]
- Bad news, ladies. Tommy Lee is engaged. [Hello!]
- Everyone hates Juan Pablo. [Radar]
- Khloe has no interest in getting back together with Lamar. [Radar]
Images via Getty.