Image via Bravo.

As a new cast member of a Real Housewives franchise, it’s important to make an immediate mark. Shannon did it on Orange County, Dorinda did it on New York, and Kenya—for better or worse—did it on Atlanta. But not everyone—even those who are nightmares themselves—are meant for this nightmare game.

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Dorit, the newest member of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, arrived on the scene with a pseudo British accent, a red faced, wheezing, and “wealthy” husband (I want to see the receipts), and a roommate famous for falsely imprisoning a male escort, chaining said escort to the wall, and beating him with a chain. Like her name (so close to “Dorito” but so undeserving of its deliciousness), she has all the markings of a good Housewife, but is sadly failing to deliver on entertainment.

Which is not to say that Dorit lacks drama—she’s bringing it, just in a foolhardy way. There’s a skill to picking a Housewives feud, one that her betters have already mastered, and if there’s a way to fail spectacularly at both alienating and boring viewers, it’s by coming after fan favorite Erika Jayne/Girardi over something as stupid as panty lines.

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Pre-gaming at Pump before a “white party” (considering the racial make-up of the cast, I’m assuming this refers to both clothing and skin color), tension between Dorit and Erika was high after Erika took the defensive on the exhausting ongoing British vs. American humor debate.

After Dorit, speaking in her Madonna-esque way, began caping for the British as if she was a Brit herself, Erika—perhaps rudely, but also rightly—interrupted, “You’re an American. What are you talking about? You were born in Connecticut!”

With that unwelcome reminder, the (lukewarm) heat was on and soon—after the group discovered that Erika wasn’t wearing underwear under her dress (we’ve all been there, honey)—Dorit found something trivial to (figuratively) latch onto: Erika’s pussy.

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How ironic that Erika’s lack of panties would get Dorit’s in such a twist!

Later, Dorit, having a casual filmed conversation with her husband PK about Erika going commando, saw herself fit to offer up a little etiquette lesson.

“If I went there in a short skirt and there was a man sitting in front of me, I would do everything in my power to make sure my legs were crossed,” she said. “Or I’d have a napkin over it or I’d have a pillow on my lap or something.”

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That’s great advice! So great, in fact, that Erika preemptively took it. Here she is at Pump with her knees together and a napkin tastefully covering her legs:

It’s also worth noting that Erika’s lack of underwear was only discovered after Lisa jokingly put her hand up her skirt. (It’s British humor! Shouldn’t Dorit get that?)

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What really seems to annoy Dorit more that Erika’s flaps a flappin’ was her pie and mash of a husband’s lecherous reaction to it, but even that she found a way to blame on Erika, saying in her testimonial, “I don’t know if she deliberately flashed anyone. But he’s a man, for crying out loud. I can completely understand [that] PK could not stop staring at Erika’s hoo-ha.”

(Actually, he certainly could have stopped staring—and stare he did. He just didn’t want to!)

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Based on the preview for next week’s episode, the drama regarding Erika’s panty lines is far from over and already the ‘wives are choosing sides. As Eileen (who, despite having a very hard year, looks STUNNING this season) wrote in her blog:

What did Erika ever do to have her body discussed so crudely? It was obvious she was not intentionally flashing anybody. She was sitting with a napkin over her lap in the company of friends. And even if she were INADVERTENTLY exposed for a second, then the right action would have been for PK to let his wife know, so she could discreetly tell Erika. And the idiocy of him saying, “Maybe Erika’s bits are available for the world?” No, PK. Erika’s body is hers, and talking about her like she’s an object is not acceptable.

Lisa Rinna, too, came to Erika’s defense:

...I am seeing what went down at their pre-gathering for the first time along with you. As you see in the upcoming previews, Eileen and I are filled in by Dorit next week, but I am literally seeing what actually went down right along with you. What I see is Erika, looking GORGE, sitting like a lady with a napkin over her lap. What I also see is others in the group antagonizing Erika. But, why? Why did a few in this group find it necessary to not only reach under Erika’s napkin but to also start questioning and making assumptions about her character? I have my suspicions….

Watching PK and Dorit in their kitchen the next day, continuing the conversation about Erika and her outfit while having lunch with their two-year-old son, Jagger, was rather shocking to me. Again, I ask WHY? This is someone’s WIFE and MOTHER that they’re talking about. Dare we play devil’s advocate and ask PK how he’d feel if he heard another man speak of his own wife this way? To hear another man say, “he didn’t mind the view” while speaking of her “bits” seems as if it may not be taken too lightly by Mr. Kemsley. To me, this is so not okay, and all I really want to know is why Erika is such a big topic for Dorit and PK so early into meeting her…I guess we’ll wait and see how this one plays out.

When Rinna—arguably one of the most embarrassing people in the world—is embarrassed for you, you know you’ve made a major wrong step somewhere along the way. Dorit, choosing to go head-to-head (or vagina to vagina?) with Erika just might prove fatal...at least to her career in reality television.