Who Is Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Secret Girlfriend?? Some Theories.

You know how we've always assumed that Joseph Gordon-Levitt is your boyfriend? Well, it turns out we were really, really wrong. (Unless we're not. Wait, is it you?? I won't tell anyone; you can trust me!!)

In an interview with Howard Stern, JGL said he has a girlfriend, and he's not telling who so shove it up your ol' wazoo. All we know is that she's a person and she's not in show business. But I'm not sure how much we should believe him. With that information, I've created a list of the most likely suspects:

1. Me (Surprise!)

2. You (Surprise!)

3. Demi Moore

4. A BOYFRIEND!?!?

5. Tyra Banks

6. Tyra Banks in costume

7. The ladies behind the counter at the DMV

8. Anna Gunn

9. Baby Holly

10. Aimee Mann

11. Penn

12. Teller

13. Just some cool lady

14. Celine Dion

15. Fleshlight

16. Snoogle Pregnancy Pillow

17. Cup of Noodles

Your best guesses below, plz.

[LA Times]

Image via Getty