Image via Facebook/NY Post

A white lady running for the Village Board in Southampton, Long Island, has determined it’s okay for her to use the n-word with reckless abandon because, as she told the Southampton Press, she’s a “pioneer” in the neighborhood. Jesus god almighty, okay, let’s break this mess down.

The paper reports that last summer, Valerie Smith called the police to complain about a group of black men allegedly standing in front of her house. Only she didn’t say “black men:”

The call, made at 6:17 p.m. on August 5, 2016, from her residence on Windward Way, included Ms. Smith reporting that there were “a bunch of niggers” standing in front of her house, drinking “Hennessy.” She asked to have a police officer sent to her street to get them away from her house.

We know this is factual because not only did the Press obtain a recording of the call, but Smith went on to use the slur multiple times in the course of an interview with the paper’s reporter:

On Friday, Ms. Smith said her use of the racial slur was no big deal, and she should be entitled to use it whenever she wants. She suggested that comedian Eddie Murphy made a career out of using the word, and added that she grew up hearing it on television in the 1970s show “All in the Family.”

“Now, all of a sudden, I can’t use it?” Ms. Smith said in a phone interview on Friday. “Sorry—I live in a black neighborhood. I came here and didn’t see color.”

Local police confirmed to the paper that Smith has called the cops no less than 200 times since she moved to the area six years ago. A neighborhood that, by the way, she feels she personally rescued from ruin. “When you are a pioneer, like I am, it’s not easy,” she said. “I’m the only white person who owns and lives on this street.” Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the world’s tiniest violin, committing seppuku with its own bow.

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Smith has been equally open with her opinions on social media. In one instance, she posted a Facebook Live video documenting pieces of trash in the woods, muttering under her breath in agitation. She also....really loved that Pepsi commercial.

Good night.