'Bubbling' Is the New Teen Trend That Will Make You Gag

It was only a matter of time before the teens of today (boys of the nadsat), bored with their petty theft and criminal mischief, got tired of silly games like butt chugging and Neknomination and began searching in earnest for something to entertain themselves with that would be both disgusting and completely pointless. And so, Bubbling was born to satisfy that need. And teens saw that it was good! And the summer of 2014 became the summer that they would start pissing into their own mouths and posting the pictures online. Because who cares about future employment? Certainly not the boys who are shooting their urine into their own mouths, smelling and tasting the asparagus they had for dinner.

Bubbling, which is literally just peeing into your own mouth (no, that's really it) was originally a fake trend started by Australian skaters that has now become very real. It began with a picture of a young man at a rock concert; a young man (I assume) so overtaken with the music he was listening to that he had no choice but to whip out his garden hose and start peeing into his own mouth as a self-soothing strategy for all the feelings he was experiencing. I understand this. Not the peeing into one's own mouth thing (because I am often dehydrated :/) but being so overcome with emotion that you have to do something crazy in the moment. For me, it was when the Gilmore Girls ended. Except instead of peeing into my own mouth I clutched a decorative throw pillow and cried about the fact that I would never again visit Stars Hollow for the first time. The people who saw the first instance of bubbling, by the way, were maybe not as enthused as the young man in question.

"this dude straight up pissed into his own mouth in the middle of the mosh pit".

"It went everywhere," the witness, Adon1kam, continued. "All down his shirt and in his hair, he seriously went for for like a solid minute. It was feral. And yes he just went on like nothing happened afterwards, it was one of the funniest/strangest/most disgusting and confusing things I've ever seen in my life."

Disgusting and confusing appear to be good ways to describe the trend, which some sources are reporting as completely fake. In fact, the first known mention of the bubbling phenomenon was mentioned in Vice by Australian skater Troy West, who says that the practice is so common in Australia that it's passed on from generation to generation like a precious heirloom. West told Vice that his father taught him how to bubble (I have the insane urge to scream "teach me how to bubble, teach me teach me how to bubble" to my empty living room as I write this) and if this logic holds, West may one day teach his own son the art of bubbling. My own father tried to teach me how to play soccer, but gave up when he realized that my body type was meant for video games, not sports played on grassy fields. Perhaps bubbling could have made our relationship stronger, less strained.

Even if West is just courting controversy with his statements, bubbling has gotten one high-profile athlete in trouble. Todd Carney, a Rugby league player, was fired after photos of him pissing into his own mouth surfaced on the internet. While Carney claims he was just "mucking around" with "his boys" and not promoting the practice of bubbling, Regardless, his firing has inspired teen boys everywhere (who follow Rugby) to start pissing in their own mouths and posting the photos to internet groups with names such as Piss In Your Mouth For Todd Carney, which only features two photos, but is apparently only one of the groups that Facebook has been yanking down as soon as they come up.

The fact that teen boys are doing something stupid in support of an athlete is understandable, but if bubbling exists outside of this futile Facebook protest, it raises the question of what's the point? If fathers really are passing the secret knowledge of turning yourself into a gurgling water fountain down to their sons, is there any point to it other than being gross and asserting some kind of feral masculinity? Bear Grylls drank urine and ate fecal matter to survive, but what's the point if there's nothing at stake. And why urine specifically? Why aren't men, as a colleague pointed out, eating their own fecal matter or sucking on used tampons? These things are just as shocking and messy as urine. (or maybe less messy, as the witness account above points out, as urine will get everywhere: on you, your friends, and innocent bystanders.)

The point of teen fads (POGS4LYFE) is that they're supposed to be fun, get you high (in some way or another) for at least a second and make the olds feel just a little nostalgic for the fleeting gem that was their youth. This fad accomplishes none of those things and fails as a trend, fake or otherwise. Unless, and I am being cautiously optimistic here, this act helps those teens who may be into water sports discover a part of their sexuality that they've been repressing. In that case, more power to you! Godspeed!

Image via Shutterstock