Does a blizzard of baby announcements have you feeling particularly skeptical of the notion of childrearing? Then you will probably enjoy this (fake) commercial for a groundbreaking new pharmaceutical development: Not Having Kids.
"Are you beginning to feel pressure from others to have children of your own? Do you find you are not yet ready to obliterate any chance you have left to enjoy life to its fullest?" asks the parody ad, which is the work of comedian Jason Messina. If so, you might be a candidate! Fair warning: side effects may include holiday loneliness, and Not Having Kids "does not protect against having to hold, watch, and/or tolerate other people's kids."
For that, we have the words "no" and "gotta go, bye!"