Here’s what you’ll learn from this trailer for season four of Vanderpump Rules. Jax is finally ready for true love. Kristen continues to be evil incarnate. Tom Schwartz says, “Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm........OK” to marrying Katie. Tom Sandoval is in a cool band and Jax needs him to “chill the fuck out” about it. Stassi is back.

There’s also a new server named LaLa (see above) and we know this because she says, “I’m LaLa.” And “I’m LaLa.” She appears to be a shit-starter. Also, Jax gets arrested, and Scheana’s husband James Mike Shay has a drinking problem.

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Watch all the beautiful fuckery below.

Here are some quotes from the trailer:

“Just don’t break anymore hearts.” -Katie to Jax

“I’m not getting any younger. I would like to settle down at some point.” -Jax

“I do definitely need another girl’s name tattooed on my arm.” -Jax

“I love you.” [in Bane voice] -James to Kristen

“So who did you fuck Friday night? I’m curious...” -Scheana

“I’m LaLa.” -LaLa

“Some people call me a bitch, but I just call it having a fucking badass life.” -LaLa

“Chill the fuck out about your goddamn band and your stupid ass music.” -Jax to Tom

“He’s just been drinking, like, so much lately.” -Scheana

“You are nothing. You are the shit on the bottom of my shoes.” -Kristen to Ariana

“I’m the most powerful bitch in the world.” -Kristen

“I just don’t wanna hang out with Kristen!!!!” -Tom

“You hate me, Lisa” -Stassi to Lisa

“You’re not important enough to hate. Sit down.” -Lisa to Stassi

This is perfect.


Contact the author at clover@jezebel.com.

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Image via Bravo