When I was first learning to masturbate, we didn’t have any of these fancy, newfangled vibrator shapes you young folk are getting yourselves off with. If a smooth cylinder couldn’t make you cum, tough shit.
A new company has got an exciting prospect for those of us who who need more and no longer use words. The Emojibator is a great way to vibrate yourself a Little Death without learning to spell. In keeping with their millennial demographic, the site shows all the ways the Emojibator can enter your life via Snapchat looking stills:
I’m sorry, but this isn’t sanitary:
...Something like this may have happened to me:
The Emojibator is available for only $32 and brags that it’s waterproof for both bath and shower play. It’s a slightly below average 4.84" x 1.22". If you are someone who has trouble communicating with real people in this world of texts and pings and snaps, then stay home with your lil’ eggplant and hit “send.”