Want Bigger Boobs? Of Course There's An App For That

This morning, we got word of an app that performs visual breast augmentation. So naturally I decided to try it out.

Not on myself, though it was suggested. (We all have our lines). Instead, we decided to go with a celebrity who has always proudly touted her own small breasts, despite the best efforts of airbrushers under orders to invent voluptuousness. At least her girls are used to being publicly messed around with.

The app, iAugment, is free and is intended to replicate the virtual visualizations that are done for prospective boob job patients. You upload a photo, highlight the boobs, and tweak according to the desired boobage.

We start with a pap photo of Keira, unretouched.

I feel exceedingly creepy highlighting her breasts. But it’s for work!

This is the largest setting, 390cc. I have named this image, “It’s not a tumor!” Try saying it in Arnold Schwarzenegger’s voice.) Poor Keira’s entire ribcage has been transfixed.

Here it is at a more moderate setting. We still prefer the original, although no one asked us.

According to a presentation of the app, men use it more often. We really want to believe these are thirteen-year-old boys giving each other boobs and not dudes dropping hints to their significant others.