LOLOLOLLOLLOOOLOLOL. Charlie Sheen was at some restaurant last night, and Rihanna was also there, and Charlie tried to impress his girlfriend by getting a RiRi intro, and Rihanna was like "who is that even i'm busy lol bye." And then Charlie got his baby diarrhea all over Twitter and it was AMAZING.
"No biggie for me; it would have been 84 interminable seconds of chugging Draino and 'please kill me now' that I'd never get back," Sheen wrote. "My Gal, however, was NOT OK with it. Nice impression you left behind, Bday or not. Sorry we're not KOOL enough to warrant a blessing from the Princess. (or in this case the Village idiot)."
Sheen humble-bragged about his personal dedication to taking time out for fans, before firing shots at Rihanna's new 'do.
"Halloween isn't for a while, but good on you for testing out your costume in public," he wrote, adding "I'm guessing you needed those precious 84 seconds to situate that bad wig before you left the restaurant."
In the end, Sheen only wanted to give Rih some sage advice.
"If ya don't wanna get bothered DONT LEAVE YOUR HOUSE!and if this "Prison of Fame" is soooooooo unnerving and difficult, then QUIT, junior!"
Ruined. Dead. Utterly destroyed. Unwoven from the pattern of time. RIP Lindo. [MTV]
Bryan Singer has filed a motion to dismiss the sex abuse case against him.
Director Bryan Singer, who was sued last month in Hawaii by Michael Egan, III, for teen sex abuse that allegedly occurred there in 1999, filed a motion to dismiss the case Wednesday for lack of jurisdiction, quoting Egan's own sworn deposition from 2003 to demonstrate that Singer was never in Hawaii with him and that Singer never sexually abused him.
...Singer's motion also includes a declaration in which Singer flatly denies all of the allegations, and states that he was in Canada for pre-production on X-Men during the late 1999 time period that two trips to Hawaii are alleged to have taken place, two with short side trips to New England and Los Angeles. Singer also says that he has reviewed "telephone records, credit card statements, sales receipts, check stubs and other [business] records" that substantiate his presence in those three places, but copies of the documents are not included with the motion. He also says that he has never resided in Hawaii, but says nothing about whether he might own property there.
- Godzilla director Gareth Edwards has been tapped to direct one of the planned Star Wars spin-offs, which will reportedly be origin stories about Yoda, Han Solo, and Boba Fett. Presumably the Boba Fett one will be called Helmet: The Movie, because WHAT IS THAT GUY ABOUT EVEN. [MTV]
- Lea Michele says Cory Monteith helped edit her book. [Us]
- Katharine McPhee is getting divorced. [X17]
- Here are Kellan Lutz and Luke Evans wearing tuxedos. [JustJared]
- Terrell Owens says he could still be in the NFL no problem he's just busy or something right now gahd. [TMZ]
- Jessica Chastain confirmed that she will NOT be on season two of True Detectives. [Vulture]
- Miley Cyrus tweeted that that story about Jennifer Lawrence never happened. Then she deleted the tweet. MYSTERIES!!! [ONTD]
- Michael Jace has been formally charged with the murder of April Jace. [People]
Images via Getty.