The latest issue of Vogue includes a spread called “Here’s What Happens When Supermodels Kendall, Gigi, and Karlie Go to Silicon Valley.” As far as I can tell, nothing happens, except maybe Grace Coddington weeping a river of relief 5,000 miles away that she has finally washed her hands of this whole operation.

The shoot features Karlie Kloss, Kendall Jenner, and Gigi Hadid—who Vogue refers to as the “so-called Instagirls,” so-called because Vogue called them that in 2014, you made your bed, Vogue—flipping their hair and sitting on desks in various Silicon Valley offices. Rudely, Miranda Kerr was not included, even though she is currently dating Snapchat CEO Evan Speigel and was probably a convenient 3 miles away.

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The accompanying article includes exactly one paragraph of content related to its stars:

At Facebook’s sprawling campus in Menlo Park, California, Karlie Kloss is teaching In­stagram CEO Kevin Systrom to smize. A few minutes later, as they prepare for the photo shoot on these pages, Systrom and Kendall Jenner find they agree that “Kanye Doing Things” is pretty much the best Instagram account ever.

And a few other paragraphs about how technology has transformed fashion into an “open system,” which, sure, although clothing is also now being expressly designed for your Instagram feed rather than your actual life, so let’s not be too thrilled with ourselves or the bot bodies we will soon inhabit:

All these apps share a common focus and a common language: the image. “Other industries struggle to communicate visually,” says Evan Sharp, Pinterest’s cofounder.

“Fashion should stop and recognize how well equipped it is to deal with the triumph of image over word.”

Pretty dark, Vogue!


Contact the author at ellie@jezebel.com.

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Images by Mario Testino/Vogue.