“Jeans are back, as Vogue is telling us, so,” Paris Hilton baby-whispers from underneath a pile of her own forgotten clothing in a recent video for vogue.com.

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Paris Hilton, who is suddenly everywhere again (and really, cheers to that), was recruited by Vogue to discuss denim, a “trend” which fashion publications intermittently enjoy declaring is “back,” despite the fact that it is a wardrobe staple that has literally never gone out of style and probably never will. “It’s too many, I lost count,” Paris says of her one million jeans, which Vogue made her try to count in a growing mountain on top of herself.

One of Hilton’s pants, which are equipped with angel wings and do not appear to be made for sitting. (Image via screenshot)
A low-rise jean skirt that Hilton had altered to be even shorter. (Image via screenshot)

Paris Hilton’s personal style continues to be insane, but the contents of her closet—which she has apparently never considered looking through, or getting rid of—are a blast to our absolute most heinous past. “I used to live for Frankie B [jeans] because they were so low cut,” she explains.

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“I actually just found one of my old favorite skirts from The Simple Life,” she says, holding it up. “You can’t tell it’s a skirt, it looks more like a bandana you put on your head or something. It was really low-waisted, and I had it tailored to be very short. I don’t know if I’d wear this ever again.”

We can’t embed the video here, but please head over to vogue.com if you’d like to watch Paris Hilton sift through a mound of exceptionally small Von Dutch shorts.