On Monday, Kris Jenner was scheduled to appear on Bachelor in Paradise: After Paradise—but paradise was lost when an unidentified insect attacked Jenner on her face and forced her lip, or lips, to “blow up”!

Jenner had to forgo the appearance because, as she put it, it was though “half my face blew up”—because, she said, she felt like she “got a bite.” A lip truther from TMZ caught some video of her outside Nobu Tuesday night, however, and after mumbling the incredulous comment, “Doesn’t look like an allergic reaction to me”—the TMZ lip truther moonlights as an immunologist—he yelled from across the street, “HEY KRIS, WHY’D YOU CANCEL YOUR BACHELOR SHOW... APPEARANCE?!”

Jenner, who was accompanied by her lesser-known daughter Kim, declined to respond, entering a black SUV silently and—as photos magnified by TMZ seem to show—completely without a bite, proving once and for all that rich people simply have better access to important, hospital grade bug-bite medications such as Caladryl and Lanacane.

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“[The doctors] gave me everything they possibly could in 12 hours,” Jenner confirmed. “It went down a little bit, but not quite enough.”

“We just came back from St. Barts,” she said when she called into Bachelor in Paradise to explain her absence. “We were on a family vacation filming our show about a week ago. And I feel like, I don’t know what happened. I feel like I got a bite on my face and like half of my face blew up.”

This isn’t the first time Jenner’s blamed her blown-up lip on foreign bugs; in the same phone call, she blames her face feeling like she was wearing “a tire” on a bug bite—on the lip!—sustained while filming Keeping Up With the Kardashians in the Dominican Republic, a television job clearly accompanied by many unseen hazards and other silent killers. This time, though, it appears the bug’s allergens were set to a time-release schedule, because one day before her cancelled Bachelor appearance, she showed up to the VMAs looking decidedly un-blown up:

Looks pretty unscathed, don’t you think? And yet, Kris released a photo of the offending “spider bite” as proof, and said she was prescribed four different medicines—all top-notch, no doubt—to help cure her ailments.

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For more of this breaking lip story, look to TMZ, which is doing consistent, diligent work in the arena of celebrity clashes with the insect world.


Contact the author at julianne@jezebel.com.