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Our collective teen crush Usher hopped on Snapchat on Thursday to share selfies that show him luxuriating in his steam room, in an attempt to create a thirst session. Unfortunately, the thirst backfired.

BuzzFeed describes these pics as “godly,” but they are not living in reality. Snapchat is the worst angle for nude selfies. Usher can do way better than this.

The above is a fine set-up for what should be an enticing thirst experience.

But then Usher shows us what it might be like to have sex with a seal (not Seal, a seal) in this blurry shot.

What an unfortunate angle. You can see a bit of his peen, but it’s censored and his legs look like action figures’ legs.

It’s sad when your heroes disappoint you. But he’s still an attractive, if overly thirsty, man.


Images via BuzzFeed/Snapchat