Remember last week when Fox News anchor Megyn Kelly insisted that Santa Claus was white? Well, it turns out that we should have been laughing this entire time because her comments were actually just a very well-constructed, not at all flawed and totally hilarious joke. Way to miss the punchline, IDIOTS.
Here's a transcript of her "joke" in case you missed it or want to hear it again:
"For all the kids watching at home, Santa is white."
Pretty good, right? And yet somehow a lot of people were not onboard — mostly because it's hard to fathom a child who would willingly sit and watch Fox News without attempting to jump out of an open window to escape the mind-numbing boredom and because Megyn Kelly, for all her joking, was totally factually wrong.
On Friday, Kelly (I'm sorry — I cannot write the word "Megyn" one more time unless I agree to give up my college degree) used her show to defend the comments, saying, "Humor is a part of what we try to bring to this show, but sometimes that is lost on the humorless."
So if you didn't find her comments funny, it's not because she's either a.) lying and was definitely not joking when she said that Santa had to be white or b.) she's bad at telling jokes. It's because you don't have a sense of humor.
Oh, and you're also a race-baiter. (You're learning so much about yourself right now, aren't you?)
"This would be funny if it were not so telling about our society, in particular the knee-jerk instinct by so many to race-bait and to assume the worst in people, especially people employed by the very powerful Fox News Channel," Kelly said.
Yes, poor Fox News and Megyn Kelly — the most oppressed people of all.
Later in the show, Jezebel crush Zerlina Maxwell appeared on the show and bravely tolerated Kelly's cries of reverse racism.
As for Kelly's insistence that Jesus, too, was white, she has now admitted that there's room for debate on that. (Not quite as much room for debate as she might think.)