The United Kingdom has been shaken to its foundations. And what has that nation all atremble? That would be vibrators.
Good Housekeeping is a reliable workhorse among the ladies’ magazines, published in the U.K. since 1922, known for recipes and product reviews backed by thorough testing. The average age of its U.K. reader, according to the Daily Mail, is 55. It’s perhaps not the first outlet you’d expect to see touting “The Ultimate Vibrator Test: All the vibrators you need to know about, tried and tested.” (Their third annual such test, in fact.) But even the Vermont Country Store sells “intimate massagers” these days!
“Whether you’re a newbie lost in a world of manically vibrating bullets and novelty gifts at hen ‘dos, or a clitoral expert unwilling to waste money on a toy that doesn’t live up to your standards, we know it’s worth knowing which vibrators actually work, orgasm-wise,” the team declared.
And so Good Housekeeping applied its usual rigor to this most personal of products, recruiting 270 women 31 to 76 to test popular vibrators for two weeks. What’s more, they felt their audience was pretty comfortable with the topic:
The initial feedback we received shows a welcome shift towards vibrators being entirely acceptable brunch conversation.
Of the women we surveyed, just over half (52%) already owned a vibrator, while the other half had considered it.
Only 9% said vibrators remain a taboo subject, versus 81% who were comfortable and happy discussing sex toys with their partner and friends. Hooray.
The headlines in reaction, however, were flabbergasted.
Naturally the UK’s equivalent of Good Morning America/Live With Kelly and Michael, ITV’s This Morning, had to get in on this vital national conversation. But as you can see in this clip (via Mashable), cohost Phillip Schofield found it almost completely impossible to keep his shit together at the mere mention of vibrators.
The reaction from viewers wasn’t quite so amused. Sample Twitter reactions via The Mirror include: “OMG #ThisMorning were just discussing sex toys. Even showed the ‘tester’ who ‘just’ rated the vibrators. Disgusted in Halstead!!!” and “So shocking! Talking about vibrators so early in the morning wow! Hope all kids are at school.” And, best of all: “When your 3 year old daughter looks at the tv and says mummy look purple play doh I like play doh.”
And so cases of the vapors and the giggles ripped through the United Kingdom.
For the record, I cannot imagine Queen Elizabeth hiding a closet full of vibes, but I bet Charles and Camilla like to get weird.