Jezebel: Unicorns

Does Ke$ha Know Something We Don't?

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 17:50:00 EDT

Ke$ha is confusing. When I first heard "Tik Tok," I thought it was a joke. An unfunny morning radio jingle, in which a white girl was "rapping." When I realized it was an actual song, I was incredulous — is this what people like now? I was bewildered by the human race. A year ago, I wrote the words, "her music is fucking terrible." As her songs became impossible to ignore — blaring out of radios, dance parties and movie trailers — I tried to assure myself that she was a one-hit wonder, a novelty, soon to be seen in a light-hearted I Love The Early 21st Century special on VH1. But Ke-dollar -sign-ha has stuck around, and, unlike some other pop stars, she seems to realize she's ridiculous. We've had hints that she's in on the joke before — like when she said she wanted to do a duet with Oscar The Grouch. But now that we've seen the glitter guns, unicorns in tuxedos and the "'instruments" she plays, it's gotten to the point where it seems like maybe Ke$ha knows what she's doing. Which is: Making crappy, cheesy music and having fun doing so. More »

Sarah Silverman's Emotional Make-Out With A Unicorn

Dodai Stewart — Tue, 05 Apr 2011 18:23:00 EDT

Funny little girls raised on Lisa Frank Trapper Keepers become hilarious women who dream of pianos made of clouds. Who cares that it's a commercial? It's got pathos! More »

3 Important Things To Note About Lady Gaga's New Album

Dodai Stewart — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 17:09:00 EST

On New Year's Day, Lady Gaga Tweeted that her new song will be out on February 13, and her new album will drop on May 23. She also offered a picture, from which we can glean some vital information. More »

The Extinction Of Unicorns: The Year In Fantasy-Book Covers

The Orbit Team — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 18:21:00 EDT

Every year we do a survey of cover art elements for the top fantasy novels published in the previous year. After the jump, some observations on the data, including analysis of the decline in castles and the extinction of unicorns. More »

55 Bad Unicorn Tattoos

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 21 May 2010 10:20:00 EDT

Every single one is terrible in its own way — the "White Power" ass-piece is truly tasteless — but the "Hustlin'" 'corn, seen here, is a personal fave. [Damn Cool Pics] More »

All Of Lisa Frank's Nightmares Are Coming True

Hortense Smith — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 15:40:00 EST

In a world where ponies run free on rainbows, spreading joy and sunshine wherever they go, there's only one creature who dares to rain on the pretty pony parade: Unicorn, Destroyer Of Ponies. It's time to get magically vicious! [BoingBoing] More »

Two Writers Make Sex After Forty Sound Pretty Good

Anna North — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 13:00:00 EDT

Two new books — Kate Christensen's Trouble and Gloria Vanderbilt's Obsession: An Erotic Tale — handily refute claims that women can't write about sex, or that age is an impediment to eroticism. More »

We So Horny

Anna Holmes — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 11:10:00 EDT

[Epsom, England; June 5. Image via Getty]

One Horn To Rule Them All?

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:30:00 EDT

Two really insane unicorn videos today. (Both embedded after the jump.) What does it mean? [BoingBoing, World Of Wonder] More »

Purple Rain

Sadie Stein — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 12:20:00 EDT

Take a walk down memory lane with this gallery of Lisa Frank images. And yes, bring the shades; those unicorns aren't messing around with your retinas. [ColourLovers] More »

Cornify: Like The Internet Through Mariah Carey's Eyes

Hortense Smith — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 14:45:00 EST

Have you ever dreamed of turning every website you visit into a Lisa Frank-esque nightmare? Well now you can, thanks to Cornify, which lets you adorn your favorite sites with rainbows, hearts, and unicorns. [Cornify] More »

Journeys In Foreign Advertisements

Megan Carpentier — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:00:00 EDT

The pre-paid cell phone advertisement seen at left greeted me this morning at the cell phone store in Saarlouis, Germany where I stopped to buy a SIM card. If the tux and slicked-down hair are fooling you, that's Snoop Dogg, bringing you roses, 100 free text messages, 10 free songs and 10 (Euro) cents a minute phone calls. If you haven't been here yet, Germany's kind of a weird place for advertisements. Breasts are totally cool (obviously), the porn is more accessible than the fashion magazines, the fashion trends are just a touch behind (I think, but I'm no Sadie Stein) and they like dirty American words but rarely have a clue what they mean. Join me after the jump for the images that assault your eyeballs in Germany. More »

Unicorns, Easy-Bake Ovens, And Vibrators, Or: I Believe In The Radical Possibilities Of Pleasure

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 17:40:00 EDT

I've been mulling over a few things after a shit storm went down at my job last week. And when I say "my job," I mean this site, obvs. All of us on staff here work really fucking hard, and I take the stress and problems I encounter to bed with me every night-literally, because I fall asleep in front of my laptop and the first thing I do when I open my eyes the next morning is IM my coworkers and check my email before I brush my teeth or pee. So I was really grumpy last week when commenters were telling me that I was doing my job incorrectly. (And grumpy, too, when I was called names, and trash talked in public messages on commenter profiles. Yeah, I read them.) Anyway, I took a couple chill pills and got over my grumpiness to realize that for the things that suck about this job-lack of hygiene, lack of social life, lack of respect from total strangers-there are like a million more things that make what I do so much fun. I get paid to have sex, get stoned with my best friend, work with some of the coolest, smartest women I've ever met, and-come to think of it-earn the respect of total strangers. And it was this more optimistic perspective that made me remember the significance of my core beliefs as a feminist: Just because we have vaginas, doesn't mean we're all victims. Being a girl can actually be really fun. In the words of some wise women, "Just cuz my world sweet sister is so fucking goddamn full of rape, does that mean my body must always be a source of pain? No, no, NOOO!" (That's Bikini Kill, btw.) Being a girl, for me anyways, has actually kinda been a blast. More »

Happy Father's Day, Love Lisa Simpson

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:00:00 EDT

We meant to include this clip in our Lisa Simpson feminist montage, but we totally forgot to add it. (Oops!) But no harm done, because it actually is the perfect thing to post at the end of this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad week, as it's all about Father's Day and unicorns(!). Lisa decides to make a heartfelt gift for her dad (a crafty little book featuring father and daughter unicorns riding off into the sunset on the backs of ponies), instead of just buying something impersonal, but Homer, being a jerkass, stomps all over her feelings when he isn't very thrilled to receive it. It puts Lisa in a bad mood, and she has a freak out at school. Clip above. More »

We Are Berry Berry Glad That This Week Is Over

Jessica G. — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 17:30:00 EDT

We were shocked and appalled to discover that Strawberry Shortcake had been given a berry slutty makeover by her corporate overlords.
As much as we love the Shortcake, she'd make a really dumb, potentially deal-breaking tattoo.
This week was mad girly, yo: Omg Unicorns!
Also, Panda Sex!
Almost as embarrassing as catching two pandas in flagrante is witnessing two dudes in the throes of a passionate mancrush.

What's The Deal With The Relationship Between Girls And Unicorns?

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:30:00 EDT

After a one-horned deer popped up in Italy this week, girls (us included) have delighted at the idea that this genetic flaw was proof of a real live unicorn. So what is it exactly about unicorns that intrigues little girls so much? Time has come out with a story on the history of the unicorn (or, rather, the folklore surrounding the mythical creature) that was very enlightening: More »

The First Unicorn

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 15:45:00 EDT

A real, live unicorn was spotted in Italy! Well, sorta. It's actually a baby deer that was born-with a genetic flaw of only having one horn in the center of his head-in captivity in a research habitat in the Tuscan town of Prato. Gilberto Tozzi, director of the Center of Natural Sciences in Prato said that this is the first time he's ever seen anything like this. [AP] More »

A children's toy is being recalled in Australia...

Tracie Egan Morrissey — Tue, 06 Nov 2007 19:15:00 EST

A children's toy is being recalled in Australia after three kids were hospitalized after ingesting pieces of it which were found to contain a chemical that, once in the human body, metabolizes into the party drug GHB. (So much better than China and their lead Barbies.) The toy, Bindeez, is a craft kit made up of colorful beads that can be assembled to create designs like flowers and unicorns, which actually seems perfectly suited for its euphoric side effects. [The Age via Boing Boing] More »