Here's What Would Happen If More Women Designed/Marketed Lady ProductsTracy Moore 7/24/14 11:20amFiled to: badvertisingbeautysexismmarketingtampons67832EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkMost ads for products are cheesy, ridiculous, or insulting as it is. But products specifically targeting women are often uniquely terrible, and this may ring true, in part, because those products are often designed or marketed entirely by men. But how can that still be the case?AdvertisementIn a piece at HuffPo that looks at the prevalence of all-male teams helming companies that make products for women, we learn that until recently, all-male teams marketed products at Kimberly-Clark, who own Kotex, Huggies and Kleenex brands (P.S.: A woman, Marion Donovan, invented the disposable diaper). That is why we have been privy to a lifetime of blue liquid, precious feels, and monochrome white to show how awesome and inspiring it is to have a period ever month. Kimberly-Clark CEO Tom Falk recalls realizing that it just wasn't going to cut it to not have women involved in the process:"If you've got a group of all men, and women are half of the population and are buying all of the products, how can you say we have the very best team?" Falk told The Huffington Post recently.Yes, women can invent hilariously bad products for women, too (Cuchina, Booty Pop). And so the world turns. But we wondered what sort of products might exist (and not exist) if female-targeted product makers such as Kimberly-Clark, Avon, Target, Sears, and others had greater parity in terms of female involvement in the design or marketing of their products. At the very least, marketing ads might be less likely to condescend or outright offend. At the very most, we would have a lot better things.AdvertisementWould Not ExistStandard non-rounded cardboard tampon applicator (ow)Scented feminine products that make your vagina smell like period + baby powderSponsoredThe scent FreesiaPink women's toolsAdvertisementPink women's razorsCommercial featuring a woman serving dinner or doing laundry for at least the next 10 years, unless woman's role is a clear subversion of traditional approach.The ePad Femme (tablet for wimmin)AdvertisementCombination razor/vibratorYogurt adsTampon ads (minus Hello Flo)AdvertisementAdvertisementCorsetsThis Think Thin Protein Bar adBic Pens for HerAdvertisementOther pointlessly gendered products, like Kleenex for men.NO MORE INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES ON PRODUCTS FOR LADIES. Nice try, but our tampons do not need to say "Keep your eye on the ball."Throw pillows covered in beadsAdvertisementAdvertisementWould ExistNon-flaky mascaraWashable kid's clothingAdvertisementWASHABLE EVERYTHINGTHROW PILLOWS MUST BE WASHABLEEasier to dispense kid's medicine that could be measured, dispensed in the dark, without dyes that stain when kid inevitably spits them out (As my friend says, "Let's dye the Tylenol red because kids will think it tastes better!" — a man)AdvertisementAdvertisementStandardized clothing sizes for womenMakeup that does not explode while on airplaneFree FAA-approved travel size of every beauty product over 1 oz. automatically included in purchaseAdvertisementBetter mammograms (There would be something to test for abnormalities that did not require flattening your boob into a pancake.)Better vaginal exams (Would happen less often and without using freezing cold metal shoe horn.)Better lactation devices (less torturous, easier to haul, quieter)AdvertisementAdvertisementStandardized bra sizes. Bras should be sold like the way Carmax sells cars, OK? No pressure, maximum information, and ridiculously friendly. Companies would make bras easier to identify by size and desired function rather than how it currently works, which is you basically go to a store and pick which kind of sexy you want to be — sporty sexy, baby sexy, spicy sexy, Will Give Hand Job, etc. — then try on four thousand bras because who the hell knows what size fits you in this brand. Fewer ridiculously sexist ads, some of which obviously thought they were being useful.And finally, perhaps most importantly:AdvertisementThe ability to still order any discontinued beauty product (eyeshadow, lipstick) for a year post-production, with adequate notice, and guidance toward choosing a replacement item.What else?Illustration by Tara Jacoby.