Trump Vehemently Denies Paying off Adult Film Actress Harboring Nightmares of Tighty-Whities 

Who wants to play Bad Man headline bingo? Nobody, but today’s picks are: Trump; sexual encounter; adult film actress; tighty-whities; attorney; nondisclosure agreement; payment. According to the Wall Street Journal, Donald Trump’s lawyer arranged for a $130,000 payment to Stephanie Clifford, former adult film actress, in exchange for her promise not to discuss an alleged sexual encounter with Donald Trump in 2006. Clifford, who goes by the stage name Stormy Daniels, had allegedly met Trump at a celebrity golf tournament in Nevada, which led to his hotel room.

Clifford’s friend and fellow adult film star Alana Evans corroborated the story in an interview with the Daily Beast on Friday night, supplying enough details for the whole of the rest of this story. Description of Donald Trump’s naked body is so gross that it’s TMI between people who see naked bodies all the time:

“She tells me, ‘All I’m going to say is: I ended up with Donald in his hotel room. Picture him chasing me around his hotel room in his tighty-whities.’ I was like, ‘Oh I really didn’t need to hear that!’ Then she said he offered her keys to his condos in Florida, and I was like, ‘Wow guess you had a good night,’ and that was the last we ever spoke of it.”

Newlywed Melania was pregnant with Barron at the time.

The New York Times, which has reportedly reviewed texts, notes, and interviews, reports that Clifford had been considering going on Good Morning America and talking to Slate about the encounter. On Friday, Slate Group editor-in-chief Jacob Weisberg said that Clifford had shared a draft of the agreement, which replaced names with pseudonyms. Weisberg alleged that Clifford stopped responding to his texts soon after. It’s unclear if she took the alleged payment.

On January 10th, Trump’s lawyer sent out an email containing what was purportedly a statement by Clifford denying any sexual contact:

Mr. Cohen also sent a two-paragraph statement by email addressed “TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN” and signed by “Stormy Daniels” denying that she had a “sexual and/or romantic affair” with Mr. Trump.

“Rumors that I have received hush money from Donald Trump are completely false,” the statement said.

Do we really want to know, anyway? And, if nauseating, it was consensual, allegedly. The crazier statement is the White House’s casual brush-off, which boils down to “old news.”

“These are old, recycled reports, which were published and strongly denied prior to the election,” the White House said in a statement. In other words, no, it’s not 2016 anymore.