True Blood: How Long Does It Take To Find Out Who You Are?

Sometimes the tone of this show is mystifying. Just when you settle in for a campy, fun ride, you’re forced to sit through some “serious” stuff.

Bill and Sookie have become downright insufferable. “Keeping a file on the woman you love is creepy.” ORLY? And what about the part where he sleeps under floorboards, or when he sucked you dry and you had to be hospitalized?

Related: How long is it going to take for Sookie to find out who/what she is? It’s exhausting waiting for the revelation that we all already know about.

Thank goodness for some new couples, like Jesus and Lala. (And Tommy and whomever he is banging.) Although Jesus dropped a big hint with his jaguar tattoo… Does he worship some kind of pre—Columbian god? Will this god want Lafayette’s blood? The show induces mistrust and paranoia!

Sigh. But Lala’s in love love.

One of the best lines all night: “I’ll be damned. maybe God loves fags.”

The other best line: “I hate her. God help me, I fucking hate her. Everything is dolls and showtunes.”

Here’s the problem: After presenting Tara’s relationship with Franklin as gleefully unhinged, we’re now faced with her as a permanently lip-trembling rape survivor. She’s been through so much — an abusive childhood with an alcoholic mother; tripping on peyote to exorcise a demon; seeing her boyfriend get shot in the head. Girl can’t catch a break, and it’s not fun to watch.

Worse, for some reason, her suffering doesn’t come off as realistic and truly emotional, especially when it’s followed by scenes of an old vampire on a roof talking to a bloody urn of his dead lover’s remains. It’s obvious that Tara’s storyline is taking her down the path of extreme anti-vampire sentiment. Unfortunately, that arc is really not very interesting, and pales compared to Jason’s hilarious, satire-rich times with the Fellowship Of The Sun. For a show which raises the stakes so high and revels in absurdity, some of the plots this season have been incredibly flat and dull. Why can’t Tara get some campy, outrageous scenes like Russell has?

Earlier: True Blood: Your Source For Hot Gay Vampire Sex
True Blood: Girlfriend In A Coma
True Blood: Will You Be My Vampire Bride?
True Blood Heals Heartbreak With A Hot Hunk O’ Werewolf
True Blood: Vampire Sex Is Twisted
True Blood: Big Foot, Nazis, And Tender Moments
True Blood: “Conscience Off, Dick On”