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In the six weeks since Lego launched their controversial (and pink) Friends line aimed at young girls, pushback has been strong. But sales are strong as well, and the company's response to criticism has been consistently clumsy, exacerbating rather than calming the problem — a problem, of course, that they fail to see. Sales are sales! More »
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First they came for Barbie, and now they're coming for Bart Simpson. Iran has apparently had it with American toys that promote (admittedly crappy) values. It is now banning dolls based on Bart and the rest of his famous family. Mohammad Hossein Farjoo, who runs the agency that oversees what toys Iranian children can play with, didn't exactly specify why, but he did say it was because some episodes of The Simpsons were already banned. It could have something to do with the fact that Lisa wears a strapless dress, and Homer isn't exactly a model citizen—but Maggie too? What could she possibly have done to offend the authorities? More »
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The latest casualty of worsening Iran-US relations is Barbie. The Iranian government is apparently cracking down on the sale of the popular perma-heeled doll, forcing some dealers underground. More »
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Plenty of Barbie dolls have ended up bald after falling into the clutches of a nasty little brother, but now there's an online movement to have Mattel release a Barbie who's intentionally hairless. The hope is that the doll could make girls who've suffered hair loss due to cancer treatments, Alopecia or Trichotillomania feel less self-conscious, and teach other children that there's no reason to gawk at people who've lost their hair. There doesn't seem to be a down side to making the doll, but for some reason Mattel is resisting. More »
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Check out this picture of an adorable little girl hugging her OH SWEET CHRIST THAT IS A HITLER DOLL. More »
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Alisa Speller says that after paying Toys R Us an extra $15 dollars to have employees assemble the Radio Flyer Pathfinder Wagon she bought for her 1-year-old daughter Skyla Price, the wheel popped off the first time they used it. Speller says that while pushing Skyla across a street in the Bronx, "I just flipped over it and fell on top of my daughter." While most people would take out their frustration on the poor soul working at the store's customer service desk, Speller is suing the company, saying "If they charge people to assemble it, they should do it correctly." Speller may have trouble proving her case, since the instructions state that adults should "periodically check hardware and tighten if necessary," and note that the toy should never be used, "near motor vehicles, streets, roadways, alleys, swimming pool areas, steps, sloped driveways, inclines, and public highways." More »
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I kind of knew I would love this video when I clicked on it and I was right. I just didn't know how much I would love it. More »
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Apparently there are still many of you who remain convinced that the rights of a fully-formed woman should trump those of a fetus, but maybe this ad will change your mind. The folks at Niagara Region Right to Life are huge Toy Story fans, and they'd like you to know that abortions make toys cry. Won't someone think of the inanimate objects?! More »
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In this week's compilation of pop culture crap: Kathy Griffin calls Kim Kardashian a "dirty whore," Stephen Colbert's Big Gay News, and Kristen Wiig teaches us how to flirt. More »
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People who were part of the Black Pride movement of the 1960s also took pride in wearing their hair natural instead of using straightening combs or chemical relaxers. Their pride in African culture was an Afro-centric view that really shook (read: terrified) most middle-class Americans. The way they wore their hair was soon dubbed an "Afro," which was shorthand for Afro-centric. More »
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Lego is universally beloved because it's a toy that's fun and surreptitiously educational. Instead of just allowing kids to reenact scenes from superhero movies or shoot their sister with a foam dart, Lego bricks let children develop their motor skills, solve problems, and use their imaginations to create anything they want. There's nothing gendered about the most basic sets, which just contain colored blocks in different sizes, yet Lego is considered a toy for boys. Now after extensive research, the company is releasing a new line to woo girls, but the way they're going about it may give you the urge to kick over your brother's Tatooine playset. More »
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I don't have any children (that I know of, heh) and very few of my close friends have kids, but I believe that children are the future, teach them well and let them lead the way. Which means you want kids to be smart and interesting and creative and so on, and not just pawns in a corporate conglomerate chess game, where every cartoon is a secret marketing ploy for a made-in-China non-bio-degradable thingamajig that will only be entertaining for three hours on December 25th. As a kid, I spent a lot of time in museums, and I think some of the best presents for kids can be found in an institution devoted to arts or sciences. Yeah, that's right, I'm one of those people who believes in edjumacational gifts, okay? Here are some suggestions… More »
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A UK toy store has eliminated its girls' and boys' toys sections, instead grouping toys by category. A blogger has claimed this decision as a victory, but the store says it's just responding to customer confusion. More »
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You can put your pepper spray away because this year there's no toy deemed hot enough to trample fellow shoppers over. Heavily promoted items like Angry Birds toys and Lalaoopsy dolls haven't really caught on, and retailers like Target and Walmart are stocking less merchandise. They're also relying more on classic toys so they won't have to sell off shelves upon shelves of Furbys come January. This may be a sign of the nation's economic troubles, but on the plus side kids' expectations are low, so you can just slap a bow on that Monopoly game tucked in the closet or give your child the cardboard tube she really wants. More »
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Welcome to this year's Jezebel Gift Guide! I know we haven't been together that long — it's only Dec. 5, after all — but I just got you a little something. No really, it's nothing — unless you got me something really nice, in which case I thought long and hard before carefully selecting it. C'mon, open it! More »
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Move over, Elmo. There's a new highly-coveted toy in town. What's that? You already did your holiday shopping this year? Tough shit. Gund has just announced a plush version of America's cutest dog. Kids — or, let's be real here, any adult with a soul — are going to go nuts over this thing. In fact, I'm announcing it right now: This is all I want for Christmas. Queue up that Mariah and Bieber duet! I'm changing the lyrics: "All I Want For Christmas Is Boo." More »
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Many toys have a surprising amount of rage that gets let loose when someone installs a device that lets them speak. Now Toys"R"Us is under attack after several parents noticed that the store's "You & Me Interactive Play and Giggle Triplet Dolls" say "Okay, crazy bitch." The store refuses to pull the dolls from shelves because it insists they're just speaking in "baby babble." Most people are appropriately enraged by this attempt to corrupt children's minds, but when asked for comment by KDVR Denver, one mom shrugged off the news, saying, "there are bigger issues in the world to worry about." Unbelievable. We're talking about a doll that makes a noise that sort of sounds like a bad word. There is absolutely no bigger issue in the world today! More »
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Holiday season 2011 is quickly approaching, and despite your feeble insistence that no halls be decked prior to Thanksgiving, the holiday buying shit season is in full swing. And with holiday shit buying season comes a confusing barrage of commercials for new toys, some of which immediately strike the sophomoric consumer as — to put it delicately — suggestive. Here's our rundown of toys that look more appropriate for the aisles of Toys in Babeland than Toys 'R' Us. More »
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Barbie has a "Fairy Secret," though it won't come as a surprise to any girl who's noticed that no matter how you contort Barbie and Ken, all of their sexual positions are extremely stiff and awkward. According to the cover of this sticker book, America's Favorite Doll has run off with Ellen DeGeneres. We'd like to celebrate Barbie finally coming out of the closet, but we can't support what these two are doing to Ellen's lovely wife Portia. More »
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Christmas is coming (in several months), and British kids' heads are already swimming with visions of sugarplums — and dog poop. Yes, apparently the "it toy" in the UK this season is an adorable pooping dachshund. More »
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Once again, Barbie is being criticized for damaging little girls, but not because of her unrealistic proportions. The new tokidoki Barbie has pink hair and huge neck and arm tattoos, and parents are concerned that the doll will send their precious pre-teen angel straight into the arms of some bad boy known for riding bikes and breaking girls' hearts. More »
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We're generally with environmentalists, but this time they've gone too far. Thanks to the phasing out of incandescent light bulbs, Easy-Bake Ovens have gotten a complete overhaul. You can't cook by the light of a compact fluorescent bulb, so Hasbro redesigned toy for the eleventh time in nearly 50 years, adding a new heating element that can reach 375 degrees. Michelle Paolino, a vice president of global brand strategy and marketing at Hasbro says: More »
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Did you know Barbie's had over 120 careers since 1959? Along with dabbling in computer engineering, she's also planning a big move into architecture this fall—but obviously she'll need an eco-friendly cantilever mansion to call her own. More »
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Hey ladies! Are your kids going off to college? Have you thought about having kids but you're not quite ready for a real, live family? There's a doll for that! More »
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When I was a child, I and the other latchkey kids played long games of Imagination on the playground. The games would last for days or even weeks, all these arcing time/space operas with good guys, villains, damsels, and shopkeepers. More »
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I've always wanted to do a "mash-up" of the words used in commercials for so-called boys' toys. I did a little bit of this in my book, but now, thanks to Wordle, I can present my findings in graphic form. This is not an exhaustive record; it's really just a starting point, but the results certainly are interesting. More »
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The florescent lightbulb did! With its 100-watt light bulb slated for obsolescence, the beloved toy faces what MSNBC calls "an uncertain future." More »
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We already knew Strawberry Shortcake was a sexy goner, but — et tu, Tinkerbell? In this brave new world, every childhood icon is lissome and dressed in tight jeans. And when she's not? Well, let's just say these fairies must have a good waxer. We're not even going to talk about the sexy horse. See the whole gallery here; these are a few we found most disturbing. More »
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In recent "I'm sorry honey, but your toys are trying to kill you" news, there may be high levels of cadmium in them there shitty bracelets. More »
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This fall Mattel will release Barbie Architect as part of its "Barbie I Can Be" line. The doll comes with a pink blueprint holder, hardhat, and black glasses. (How else would you know she's smart?) It's great to see Barbie's entering another brainy field, but we fear her insistance on using pink plastic as a building material might not go over well with clients. More »
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Just in time for Valentine's Day, Mattel has announced the results of Ken's creepy online campaign to win back Barbie's love: She said yes! In a statement to USA Today, Barbie declared, "Ken and I were made for each other. Our love is grander than any dream house." More »
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Ken and Barbie split in 2004, but now he's mounting a campaign to win her back by Valentine's Day. While some hope they'll give love another chance, insiders suggest their relationship is just a sham designed to sell dolls. More »
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Now that Silly Bandz are totally passe, the hunt is on for the next trend that will captivate kids and plunge parents into uninformed hysteria. Some are betting on "slap watches." We have better ideas. More »
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"Action figures" and "dolls" tend to be pose-able and non-pose-able, respectively, reflecting the idea that boys are encouraged to be active agents and girls passive objects.  So j_l_larson devised a way to make girl toys that can do things. More »
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The cartoon character SpongeBob lives in a city at the bottom of the sea. It's called Bikini Bottom.  So this "Bikini Bottom Groom and Go!" kit for kids three and over . . . More »
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Dear Bravo execs: Please turn this event into a Project Runway/Fashion Show type competition and reality program called Fantastic Plastic (or something) ASAP. I will watch the crap out of it. Thanks! More »
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Researches have observed that wild young female chimps , when playing with sticks, used them as "dolls" more often than the males, who mostly used them as weapons. Previously, this type of gendered play was thought to be limited to humans. More »
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...and other seemingly-innocuous toys that one shrink says could psychologically scar the young for life (and may have ruined most of us). More »
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The FBI is warning that Mattel's new Video Girl Barbie is a "possible child pornography production method." Might they be overreacting just a little? More »
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In Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend, which will air on Hulu, eight dudes will compete to prove that they possess Ken's qualities in order to be "the ultimate boyfriend for every occasion." So: Smooth crotches, yes? More »
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