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Warning: Looking too deeply into this bear's eyes could scar you for life. Rather than being a source of comfort, as teddy bears were designed to be, this mess of a toy is the stuff nightmares are made of. Plagued with some kind of hearts-based skin disease (Is this what global warming is doing to all the polar bears?!?!) and sporting a very unsettling set of stabby-looking eyelashes, this little smiling psycho seems like the type that would come alive at night and gnaw you to pieces. Fortunately for girls and boys everywhere, this "Colorful Hearts" monstrosity is being recalled by Build-A-Bear Workshop because it's beady little eyes have a tendency to pop off. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *Dials 911 from under the bed* More »
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Dear Bravo execs: Please turn this event into a Project Runway/Fashion Show type competition and reality program called Fantastic Plastic (or something) ASAP. I will watch the crap out of it. Thanks! More »
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...and other seemingly-innocuous toys that one shrink says could psychologically scar the young for life (and may have ruined most of us). More »
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In Genuine Ken: The Search for the Great American Boyfriend, which will air on Hulu, eight dudes will compete to prove that they possess Ken's qualities in order to be "the ultimate boyfriend for every occasion." So: Smooth crotches, yes? More »
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The View-Master story is just plain sad. [Mental Floss] More »
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NPR's Guy Raz visited a Target in Washington, D.C. and checked up on sales of the doll based on Tiana from The Princess And The Frog. He says: More »
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…You know what you should bring every girl this year? Lady Gaga dolls. So many more at the link! [WoW via Veik11] More »
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Amy Winehouse reportedly wants to be the next Barbie doll and thinks she would be a hit with kids. [Pop Crunch] More »
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The Disney Channel will air a My Little Pony series in conjunction with the newly formed Hasbro Studios. Yawn. Call us when Cookin' With Easy-Bake Oven gets greenlit. [The Hollywood Reporter] More »
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Or spleen. Or heart! I just want to squeeze the guts out of these "Anatomy" Hello Kitty figures by Dr. Romanelli. I love' em eyeballs to entrails. [Inventor Spot] More »
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Jailbreak Toys is releasing a Michelle Obama doll. Though the White House objected to Malia and Sasha dolls from Ty earlier this year, there has been no comment on the Michelle doll. Jason Feinberg, the toy company's founder, says: More »
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As mentioned in July, Mattel worked with a black designer named Stacey McBride-Irby to create the "So In Style" black barbie dolls, which are "closer to a mirror reflection" of African-Americans. The ladies of The View had some issues: More »
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These Play-Doh ads from Singapore — featuring dangerous objects made of clay and the words "safe no matter what you make," are twisted, but funny. I remember my Play-Doh french fries tasting like crap. Additional images after the jump. [AdRants] More »
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In an essay for The Root, Raven L. Hill asks if Mattel's new African-American So In Style Barbie dolls get black people "closer to our mirror reflection" than Barbie, or previous black Barbies. The answer? Yes. And no. More »
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Mattel has released Totally Stylin' Tattoos Barbie, with"40 fun tattoo stickers" for the doll — and for kids — and if certain papers are to be believed, people are freaking the fuck out. More »
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After making dolls named Sasha and Malia and then pulling them due to objections, Ty Inc. presents: Bo The First Dog Beanie Baby. Part of the proceeds will go to support animal shelters. [Reuters] More »
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Who wants to be the last one on the playground without an Edward Scissorhands My Little Pony? Artist Mari Kasurinen has dressed the ebullient equine like a series of film icons. Kill Bill! [Guardian] More »
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Click to enlarge and to compare new "tween" Dora The Explorer to her original self. [AP] More »
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The Disney Princesses are getting a makeover. This, with the news that Dora The Explorer will come in a shopping-obsessed tween version and that horrifying Strawberry Shortcake revamp is upsetting. Hey, toymakers: Quit it. More »
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Do you know the 6 Most Problematic Situations In Barbie History? Click to read 'em all, but here are some high lowlights: In 1965, Slumber Party Barbie came with a book called How To Lose Weight. Inside? Two words: "Don't eat." In 1992, Teen Talk Barbie infamously uttered the words "Math class is tough!" The same year, Earring Magic Ken came with what appeared to be a chrome cock ring. In 1997, Mattel pulled a black Barbie from shelves because she was sponsored by Oreo. Also in 1997? Share A Smile Becky, Barbie's friend in a wheelchair, hit toy stores. But a 17-year-old girl with cerebral palsy tried to put the doll in Barbie’s Dream House and couldn’t get the wheelchair through the doorway. Whoops! [Blog Of Hilarity] More »
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A male colleague of mine remarked to be recently that writing about vibrators is a Jezebel scribe's rite of passage. And, it's true, we totally write about vibrators a lot; in fact, I popped my own vibrator-story cherry not that long ago! It is a rare day, however, that any of us writes about male masturbatory aides — and, when we have, we usually focus on Real Dolls and how vaguely disturbing we find the men who are into them. But then I saw this article in The Independent today about the surge in men purchasing all sorts of things to their dicks into or up their butts, and I realized that it wasn't just sex dolls I find vaguely disturbing... and that that's kind of sexist of me. More »
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Several financial news outlets are discussing Mattel's falling first-quarter results, and most place the blame squarely on the slim shoulders of a certain doll named Barbie. Barbie, which was introduced in 1959, is now first-runner-up for the under-12 set, in part because of competition from edgier, increasingly-popular brands like Bratz and Hannah Montana dolls and in part because of the emergence of web-based toys. According to Portfolio, "Children want Web-based toys, and they want them at younger and younger ages" the magazine cites the success of interactive toys like Webkinz, and let's not forget the potential pleasures of Miss Bimbo). But the real reason Portfolio believes that Barbie is no longer the reigning beauty queen in toy world is because "at 49, Barbie is becoming obsolete." More »
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A story on Utne about "green" sex toys the other day got me wondering: how exactly does one get rid of a sex toy? Particularly the large ones, meant for those who mean business? I used to have a humongous Dr. Scholl's personal massager that my ex-BF's mom gave him for Christmas one year after he started weight-training. (Weird, I know.) Naturally, I called dibs on it and used it as my main vibe for years, long after we'd broken up. Then, one day, it started sparking, turned black, and conked out so I ripped the cord out of the wall, in fear that it might start a fire. When I walked it out to the kitchen and stepped on my trashcan pedal to throw it out, I realized that the vibe was almost as long as the garbage. (I'm not kidding, I measured it and it was a little over 18" long.) And then it hit me: maybe I should be put it out on the curb on the "large electronics and metal" recycling day. As a substantial piece of machinery, it seemed like it qualified! More »
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One of the sex toys I picked up at the Adult Entertainment Expo last week was the Fukuoku Five Finger Massage Glove. The packaging claims it was created from "the secrets of the Orient" but I actually got it from an booth where a blond middle-aged woman in a slutty police uniform was wearing the glove and using it on people's necks and backs. Having been on my feet in heeled boots all day and with a bag that weighed 25 lbs, the Massage Glove felt like heaven when she placed it beneath my shoulder blades. The glove comes in versions for both the right and left hands, and there's a vibe in each finger, with two adjustable speeds. There's also a little pocket for the battery pack, so there's no bulky appendage or wires to get in the way, making the product seemingly perfect for partner sex. Oh, and did I mention it's waterproof? Yeah. So, the other night, I ran a bath, grabbed my Fukuoku and put my hand to work. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=346128&view=rss&microfeed=true Mattel is recalling one million Fisher-Price toys today because they're covered in lead paint. Many of the products feature Sesame Street or Nickelodeon characters, and all were manufactured in — surprise! — China. Barbie's not on the list, but we have a feeling she would be if she could. (Slut!) Better buy Bratz instead! [NYTimes] More »
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