Jezebel: Tony Rezko

According to Scalia, People Only Get Rights When There's Nothing At Stake

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:30:18 EDT

In a 5-4 ruling today, the Supreme Court has (again) decided that the prisoners at Gitmo deserve some semblance of the rights afforded everyone else imprisoned in this country, like the right to protest to a judge the fact that they've been held for 6 years without charges. In his dissent, Justice Antonin Scalia defended the right to not afford the detainees any rights because "America is at war with radical Islamists," but I'm sure he came up with some bullshit legal reasoning to discard the Constitution like he always does. Strict constructionalist my ass. [Washington Post]
In other legal news, the jury is now considering its verdict in the R. Kelly case. [AP]
In yet further legal news, Tony Rezko claims that federal prosecutors cajoled him to make up allegations against Barack Obama. He says, "I will never fabricate lies about anyone else for selfish purposes. I will take what comes my way, but I will never hurt innocent people." Except, you know, when he bribes officials and commits frauds. [Politico]
Oh, look, the first food named after Eliot Spitzer: "a gargantuan patty wrapped around braised shortribs (no foie gras, here) and slathered with barbecue sauce". Now if only the Mayflower could, um, swallow their pride and name a drink after him, my life would be complete. [OuttaMindOuttaSite]

No Really, What Do You Have Against The Condoms, Luv Guv?

Moe — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 10:00:33 EDT

There's the fact Silda is hot. The fact that she showed up. The fact it all went down at the fucking Mayflower. There's the fact this makes Jack Grubman's little Blackberry preschool tryst look sweet and sincere, and the fact this has to put Eliot Spitzer one degree of sexaration from some of the Wall Street greedmongers he so loved to loathe. Which brings us to the inevitable. While he was fucking Dick Grasso, was he also fucking Dick Grasso? Because, you know, the governor doesn't like using condoms. And that is pretty much what Glamocracy Megan and I have been discussing all morning. What, did he just need his jizz to land someplace it shouldn't? Or the old small penis problem? That and Spitzer's blind, marathon-running potential replacement after the jump. More »

The Photo That Proves Hillary Clinton Once Owned A Skirt

Moe — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 10:00:52 EST

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So much news! Another debate! Another endorsement! Another reason invading Iraq was the WORST DECISION SINCE UH LIKE MAYBE THAT WHOLE DRUG WAR THING. Oh, and who's that in the pic w. pretty skirt-wearing Hillary? That's right, it's another presidential candidate who knows that shady Chicago slumlord! Unrelated: doesn't Hill look sooooo like a Republican in that picture? (Check Drudge to see the whole thing.) So, today, instead of talking about the scary fact that ROMNEY IS LEADING in Florida and we all know how Florida decides elections, or the curious fact that the New York Times did not mention Bill once in its endorsement of Hillary Clinton for president, we mostly wound up talking about the Dubai Ports scandal. How things have changed since all that fearmongering terrorist crap, right? MY HEATING BILL FOR ONE. More »