• Seventy-two year old Jane Fonda is talking about her recent plastic surgery, saying, "It was a hard decision to make."

• Though TBS, Conan O'Brien's team, and George Lopez have all stated that Lopez is a major supporter of O'Brien coming to TBS, a source claims that might not be the case:

• Nicole Richie has been complaining that she doesn't feel well for days, and now she's been hospitalized at Cedars-Sinai for pneumonia. Her rep says she's "doing well."

• Some people were offended by the jokes Alex Borstein made about Marlee Matlin's speaking voice on Sunday's Family Guy special. She says, "It was sick. It was twisted. It was rude... and I was glad to be part of it."

• A judge has approved an agreement granting Katherine Jackson permanent custody of Michael Jackson's children. Debbie Rowe, who did not attend the hearing, agreed not to fight for custody in exchange for visitation rights.

• Paris Hilton's dogs live better than you do. She posted pictures via Twitter of their doghouse—for her 13 purse-sized dogs—that was designed as a mini version of her own home. [Daily Mail]

• Thanks to the tipsters who let us know that Chris Brown was hanging out at their school, the University of Mary Washington earlier this week, and that his visit was very poorly timed.

• Amy Winehouse must be coming to her senses: she's given control of her £15 million fortune to her parents. She can't spend her own money without their approval, so drugs are probably out. [Mirror]

• Whoa: Recent quotes about Scarlett Johansson's marriage to Ryan Reynolds were "wholly fabricated": The actress "has at no point granted U.K. Cosmopolitan an interview, and never discussed her personal relationships with the publication." [E!]

• Gavin Rossdale says he and Gwen Stefani are not going paint the unborn baby's room pink or blue: They're going to paint it black. Goth bébé, aww. [E!]
• John Mayer looooves to fuck with us. That's why he let himself be photographed carrying a "prescription bag" with a note that read "Experimental Human Growth Hormones, 2x daily." Haha, yeah, we know, The Hulk comes out today. Calm down. [E!]
• Even if you could not care less about John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston, they do "look good together," and I hate when people say that. But it's true. Look at them. [ET]
• Is everything OK between Sam Ronson and Lindsay Lohan? Instead of really DJing a party she was hired to spin, Sam was "uneasy and jittery," a spy says. "All she did was pop in CDs and spent much of the night outside on the phone, texting and chain-smoking." [Rush & Molloy]
• Marcia Cross was in a minor car accident yesterday, but "everyone is fine." [ET]
• Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson? Back together? Head. Exploding. [E!]
• Supermodel Adriana Lima is engaged! The lucky dude is basketball player Marko Jaric; they've been dating for nine months. Freakishly tall and attractive kids to come? [People]

• Photographs of Angelina Jolie's (now) unborn babies could be worth a whopping $10 million. An editor who remains anonymous actually says: "It's at the point now where some stars might decide to have more kids just to collect the money from their photos." Hahahahahaha. No. [Page Six]

• If you believe the UK tabloids, which are using Italian sources, Angelina Jolie might be pregnant, OMGWTFYAY. [Mirror]

• Britney's former bodyguard says one night he saw her "out of it" in a trashed hotel room with crystal meth paraphernalia and he "thought she was going to die." [The Sun]

• Britney Spears showed up for her comeback at the MTV Awards "late, unprepared, and with a drink in her hand." She was also supposed to be lifted and twirled by the dancers, but refused. And she was supposed to be wearing a corset. [Page Six]

• Britney "performed" at the MTV Awards. And the reviews are in! NY Post:"Lard & clear loser... Totally lame, pathetically lip-synched." Washington Post: "Disjointed and just plain boring..." NY Times: "Awful. She tottered around the stage, dancing tentatively and doing nothing that sounded or looked like real live singing." BBC: "[Her performance will] go down in the history books as being one of the worst to grace the MTV Awards". Yahoo News: "Lethargic movements that seemed choreographed by a dance instructor for a nursing home..."

• Jude Law was arrested for allegedly assaulting a photographer outside his home in West London. [The Sun]

Welcome to Midweek Madness — our weekly gagazine fest with Intern Maria, who always wears cute outfits and makes us scared to leave the house looking like we do —in which we "read" the weekly tabloid magazines. So you don't "have" to.