If you haven’t been paying attention to any pre-Oscars coverage, which has more or less been happening all day, you might have tuned in to another little awards show that makes a point of highlighting this past year’s cinematic swill, i.e., movies that makes us question whether Hollywood thinks movie-watchers are no better than paramecium. And to the surprise of probably no one, the BDSM-themed flop Fifty Shades of Grey stole the show at the Razzie Awards earlier today, nabbing “wins” for Worst Picture on top of four other Golden Raspberry statuettes.

The film was also the proud recipient of the awards for Worst Actress (Dakota Johnson), Worst Actor (Jamie Dornan), Worst Onscreen Duo (Johnson an Dornan, who notoriously loathe each other and fucked up an entire press tour making sure everyone knows it), as well as Worst Screenplay. Their Worst Picture win was shared with the Josh Trank-helmed reboot of the Fantastic Four franchise, which despite Kate Mara and Michael B. Jordan’s best efforts will probably never have a follow-up.

Unfortunately Johnson, Dorner, or anyone else affiliated with the adaptation of E.L. James’ novel of the same name failed to show up at the ceremony to accept their awards. Probably for the best, because putting Dornan and Johnson in the same room is the equivalent of putting two dead fish in an aquarium and watching them float.

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Contact the author at jamie.reich@jezebel.com.