Today in HHHHNNNNGGHGHGJHGLFJKHLKJDFHSDLJFS, more details have emerged in the case of Sandra Bullock's alleged stalker. Apparently Bullock woke up to loud banging noises in the middle of the night, to find a man outside of her bedroom carrying love notes to her and her son.
"You are very special to me and without you in my life there is only misery," read one note from accused stalker Joshua Corbett mentioned in search warrant affidavits obtained by the Daily News.
"I will forever be thinking of you and Louie my son as you are my wife by law, the law of God and you belong to me and me to you," Corbett, 39, said before signing off as "your husband."
The affidavits described in bone-chilling detail how Bullock returned home around 1 a.m. on June 8, took a shower, went to bed and woke up to "loud bangs."
The "Gravity" actress thought the bangs were coming from her third floor workout room windows, which she left open to air out the room, so she attempted to go back to sleep, one investigator recounted in the affidavit filing.
When the banging got louder, Bullock became fearful, got up to close her bedroom door and saw a male wearing dark clothing walk past her on the other side of the threshold, the affidavit said.
Truly the reason that nope gifs were invented. Glad everyone's okay. [NYDN]
Oh, I guess the Jonas Brothers are getting back togethe-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
"The Jonas Brothers have settled their differences and are going to be reuniting by the end of this summer!" an insider confirms to Radar exclusively.
The Jonas Brothers, known for such huge hits as "Love Bug" and "Burnin Up", announced their split in October 2013.
...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...[wakes up a shriveled, wasted old woman, waits for death]. [Radar]
REMEMBER WHEN KIM KARDASHIAN WAS THIN!!?!?!?!!?!?!?
"Throwback to a few years ago #SkinnyDays," Kanye West's wife captioned a picture of herself looking svelte in a tight white dress from 2010. "#OnTheTreadmillRightNOW," the 33-year-old added.
OH THANK GOODNESS BECAUSE THESE DAYS SHE LOOKS LIKE AN ENORMOUS MONSTER!!!!!!!!!! [Us]
- Judd Hirsch will star in Sharknado 2: The Second One, and he's also getting his own series on ABC. [Yahoo]
- Diane Kruger turns 38 today. [E!]
- Here is Patrick Schwarzenegger in some Tom Ford ads. [People]
- Katy Perry had "acupuncture-treated sushi" with Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka. [E!]
- Hank Baskett calls Kendra Wilkinson every day. [TMZ]
- Billy Joel's mother, Rosalind, has died at age 92. [E!]
- Napoleon Dynamite cast reunion. [Us]
- Nick and Vanessa Lachey are expecting a baby girl. [JustJared]
- Scarlett Johansson wore a red dress. [E!]
- LOOK AT THESE HUMANS' THIGHS. [JustJared]
- Curly judge wigs: Never not funny. [PageSix]
Images via Getty.