This Truck Is the Hottest Place for the Most Exciting Sex of Your Life

If you’ve got a sense of adventure and $75 burning a hot, sexy hole in your pocket, there’s a new business venture that’s offering visitors 30 minutes of a private, mobile paradise. Of course, your vision of paradise must include a commercial box truck; otherwise this just isn’t going to work.

The Hook-Up Truck, which made its debut in the Bay Area on Friday night, is a combination art project/business created by Spy Emerson, who refers to the inside of the vehicle(a secret room that is concealed to look like cardboard boxes) as a usable art space.

“Inside, there is one small room concealed within the back of the box truck, disguised to be a pile of cardboard boxes. The room interior is designed to be fancy and minimal both, with the focus on usability, and keeping it clean,” says Emerson. “[The room also contains] hand painted wall paper, and special lighting, mirrors, air filtration, temp control, and camera capabilities are are the highlights of the room. Though, in the room there is no furniture, only a bar, strap, and bench.”

There’s no word on whether the room is self-cleaning or whether the artist herself has to run to the back with bleach and warm water between customers, but SF Weekly notes that those who make a large mess must pay an additional fee. Emerson also has a few ground rules for couples using the truck. Aside from all parties using the luxury amenities being 21 and having a valid credit card (do you take Discover? Does anyone?), there is to be no smoking, no discrimination, and absolutely no violence. Excellent ground rules for any romantic tryst! (Well, except maybe for the smoking part. I bought a whole bunch of e-cigarettes in a fit of pique once and often like to light up and exhale voluminous clouds of rose-mint flavored smoke after a particularly good cuddle session. Just like in the movies!)

The truck’s first outing was a success. While it was banned from the festival Emerson originally planned to take it to, she parked the bus under an overpass and let willing couples have a roll in the corrugated cardboard free of charge. In the future, couples will have to pay the $75 fee if they come to the bus, and a $150 fee if the bus comes to them. (I really wish I could think of a “come” joke here and hope you can help me out in the comments.)

Participants who enjoyed the truck on Friday night seemed satisfied, noting that the media attention as well as the truck’s unique ability to allow individuals to have a private sexual encounter in public as turn-ons. One couple, who claims to have had sex in over 4,000 places ranked the experience as one of their most interesting, making me wonder what kind of mundane places the other 3,999 locations must have been. Truck sex is exciting, of course, but can it ever beat sex while skydiving?