Threesome App Promises to Make Threesomes Slightly Less Awkward

There are apps for almost everything in the entire goddamn world — from preventing drunk dials to charting bowel movements to virtual zit popping — so it was really only a matter of time before the world was introduced to an app that allows couples — or adventurous singles — to use their smartphones to arrange threesomes.

3nder — which is almost as awkward to pronounce as most threesomes are to have — is still in development and isn't currently available for download. But once it is, it promises to Change The Threesome Game. Like other hookup apps like Tinder and Pure, users on 3nder won't be able to communicate with each other unless both parties have expressed mutual attraction. Once that's established, amorous couples and game singles can meet each other and bone till the cows come home.

Depending on you and your partner's attitude toward threesomes, this app could have some interesting implications. If you're both into adding a third into the mix sometimes, it will ostensibly make your life easier by removing Craigslist or Adult Friend Finder or a high-risk bar ask from the equation. If you're a woman who hasn't yet aged out of her Entourage-obsessed douchebag phase, it will give your boyfriend a great opportunity to pressure you into breaching your sexual comfort zone in pursuit of his fantasy (Babe! he'll say, as he most certainly calls you "babe," It's so much easier now! We just use the app to find a hot chick who will be perfect for this plus my birthday is coming up! and suddenly 3 hours later you're watching your boyfriend putting his penis into another woman's holes right in front of you and you feel awful because you never wanted this to begin with but aren't self-actualized enough to assert yourself against the seductive power of 3nder). Or — OR — if you're a sexually liberated unattached party, you can use this to get it on with two people at once without dealing with the ensuing emotional messiness. In, out, done. Final or: if you're a sexual Luddite, you can go on arranging threesomes the old fashioned way. By telegraph.


But will people actually use a threesome app? As Kate noted last year, developers of other hookup apps haven't had much luck getting women to actually use them. And as BetaBeat noted, if women don't use 3nder in the numbers that can keep up with demand for free floating women who want to have sex with a hetero couple, the whole thing's kind of a wash.

I'm personally holding out until a reliable 5-way app hits the market.