This Michelle Rodriguez/Milla Jovovich Interview Is Bonkers

Who comes out as the weirder one in this Interview magazine discussion between Michelle Rodriguez and Milla Jovovich: M or M? You be the judge!

The interview includes some really good stuff; the two women (who starred in Resident Evil: Retribution together) discuss how long-term relationships evolve, the pressure to have kids, and how Rodriguez wants to make a movie about “four girls who actually get along in a movie that’s not about chasing some guy or marrying somebody” like Pulp Fiction or Reservoir Dogs.

But…it also has some other stuff. A lot of other stuff. Whose stuff did it best? [All emphasis in the below quotes added.]

Point: Michelle

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ: How the hell have you been? You’re ready to pop another angel.

Point: Milla

JOVOVICH: I remember looking into the mirror, and I still do this sometimes, going, “I’m me, here in this world, isn’t that insane?” Motherhood takes it to another level, but I think you can handle it. Speaking of love, I feel like I’ve read a lot of stuff where people are super interested in what makes Michelle tick in the bedroom.

Point: Michelle

RODRIGUEZ: Sometimes I wake up in awe that I’m alive. I can’t get over that part, so I guess it makes me kind of like an existentialist.

Point: Milla

JOVOVICH: How did you become the protector of the weak?

Point: Michelle

JOVOVICH: Did you keep journals as a kid?

RODRIGUEZ: Tons. I have them lying around. Sometimes I’ll stumble across one and be like, “Damn, thank God for spellcheck.”

JOVOVICH: Can you still relate to what you wrote back then?

RODRIGUEZ: I’m like a fucking onion, man; I’m always peeling. I never got attached to anything I was. I never fall in love with things that I believe in. I always leave room for it to evolve into something else.

Point Michelle:

RODRIGUEZ: I enjoy vanity like the best of them. But I can’t stick to any of that lifestyle for too long because, when its true colors come out, it’s empty and cold and soulless. So I have to travel and go find some real people. After Cannes every year, I end up going to some foreign country I’ve never been to before and introducing myself to a new religion—I’ll go to Bali and research Hinduism, or I’ll go to Thailand and get another tattoo from [Thai tattoo artist] Ajarn Noo [Kanpai]. [laughs]

Point: Fucking both of them talking about Mongolia

JOVOVICH: I saw on Instagram that you just went to Mongolia. What were you doing there?

RODRIGUEZ: I don’t know! [laughs]

JOVOVICH: Streams, grass, and sand dunes to climb. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life. Everybody needs to go to Mongolia just to see what it is to be a human being again.

RODRIGUEZ: Oh, man, I was hanging out in gers [yurts] with these Kazakh sort of Bedouins. Drank nasty-ass camel milk. The drive [from the Souther Gobi to Ulan Bator] is insane. It’s like The Road.

JOVOVICH: I kept saying to my brother, “Oh, Marco, look at the colors!” For me, that’s where Walt Disney got his landscape inspiration. It’s the most beautiful, most fairy-tale-like landscapes I’ve ever seen.

Winner: Us, the audience, for getting to read this, considering Milla and Michelle: A Buddy Cop Comedy, is unfortunately probably never coming to a theater near you.