It’s finally here! The Donald Trump porno of your wild and windswept imagination has arrived on the internet and it’s full of everything you could have ever asked for: racist comments? Check! Gag-inducing wig that very closely resembles Trump’s hair system? Check! An angry pink dick that spews white-hot liquid death all over the place? Unfortunately, the real Donald Trump isn’t in the movie.

But don’t despair! Everything else you could ever expect from Trump is in here, including the fact that a beautiful young woman would only sleep with him for a hefty performance fee. I feel kind of bad for saying this, but Dick Chibbles (the actor portraying Donald ‘Tramp” in this XXX stunner) actually sounds like The Donald and, if you squint your eyes real hard and look at the screen from an angle, he even looks like Trump’s long-lost twin! #ACTING!

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I didn’t have the stomach to watch the actual sex part, but if you’ve got nothing else to do on a Friday or your workplace is down like that, then you can click over to Wood Rocket to see what happens next. Please let me know if Donald’s dick also has a wig because that would. be. amazing.


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.