Look at this (relatively) little guy. One minute you're basking in the sun just trying to grow some teeth in and the next minute, a flock of birds decide that they're just going to get all up in your grill and since you don't have opposable thumbs or arms attached to your back, there's not a damn thing you can do about it.

I've never felt a stronger connection with another of God's creatures than I did looking at the pictures of this baby hippo being brutally pestered by a group of birds who don't know their place. I am this hippo. This hippo is me.

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When trolls and regular folk alike respond to rhetorical questions and clog up my Twitter mentions with their bullshit.

I am this hippo.

When salespeople hover over me after I've already goddamn told them I don't need any help.

I am this hippo.

When I went to the petting zoo that one time and a goat clamped its jaw around the sleeve of my jacket until I cried.

I am this hippo.

When dudes start dancing with me from behind like that's an appropriate way to approach a woman.

I am this hippo.

When idiots offer their opinions.

I am this hippo.

"Reverse racism is real."

I am this hippo.

When, people, generally, don't just back the fuck off.

I am this hippo.

We are all this hippo. Rage, rage baby hippo.