Being a dog is already pretty great: Free food and drink, an entire world to shit on, and just hours of nothing to do but take naps and then lazily lick your privates. And then there’s Rollo, a dog who’s taken dogging to such a new level that his owners had to drop $37,000 on house renovations to keep him away from the food.

The Daily Mail reports that Rollo, a nine-year-old chocolate lab, has taught himself to open cupboards, and will eat literally anything, including jars of mincemeat (jar included) and cigarettes.

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From The Daily Mail:

The binge-eating pooch gobbled anything he laid his eyes on after teaching himself how to open the kitchen’s cupboards, drawers and fridge.

His owner Sue Kirk, from Sleaford, Lincolnshire, even found him raiding the dishwasher after cracking how to break in there too.

We need to re-emphasize the extraordinary nature of this dog’s commitment, also. According to Kirk, he’d actually jump on their outdoor trampoline in order to reach the apples. When’s the last time you put in this kind of effort for anything?

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But wait—there’s more:

‘We’ve got Rollo-proof bins to stop him from rummaging, and we’ve had to put a chain on the door as he’s learnt to open them.

‘We’ve got a stairgate on the greenhouse, but he’ll body-bash it to get at the tomatoes.

‘Once he even undid Stewart’s briefcase and ate his lunch out of his lunch box. He’s constantly on the hunt for food!’

Nothing is safe from Rollo’s unstoppable appetite - he once chewed the locks off of a Tupperware container to get at 12 chocolate muffins.

The couple knew they had to do something when he started eating glass and rat poison which, while ostensibly delicious, weren’t particularly good for him. So they decided to stop him via remodeling their kitchen, so that Rollo couldn’t open the cupboards and fridge anymore.

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The family says they couldn’t couldn’t imagine life without Rollo, whom they adopted from a rescue six years ago. Kirk says, “he causes absolute mayhem—but we love him to pieces.” And we agree: this dog isn’t just a delight, he’s a role model.


Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

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Image via Shutterstock