One more for the Jezebel ethics board, involving the fact that I love Drake. I love him so much. My boyfriend has said I’m allowed to kiss him if I ever get the chance. But let’s be real! That’s never going to happen, and I know this because I’m not fucking insane.

But what if there was someone who looked kind of like Drake and would probably be a lot easier to get in contact with. Could we fuck? Would that be okay?

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At the end of September, ISIS released two photos of two attacks on a Jordanian hospital, along with photos of the two suicide bombers who carried out the attacks (BuzzFeed confirmed that the above photos are legit).

This week, Twitter user @SayWallah pointed out that top-leftie looks a lot like my nighttime husband.

And everyone agreed.

I know what you’re thinking: He’s dead! He’s not a good candidate for a date or for a sexual fling. And you’re right. I’m not interested in pieces of exploded body. Nor am I particularly interested in someone who wouldn’t like me for my Judaism. Nor am I down with a guy who definitely hates women and would blow up a hospital. Nor do I think he would be that down with me.

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The point is, Peeple, that Drake is not the only person in the world that looks like Drake. And that is the most wonderful Hanukkah gift I could ask for.


Contact the author at joanna@jezebel.com.