Image of cupcakes, though not the “racist” ones in question, via Pamela from DC Metro - Flickr, CC BY 2.0

Out of all the things that are actually racist, an Oreo cupcake called “Mr. President” most likely is not one of them.

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The Oregonian reports that Fat Cupcake, a black-owned bakery in Portland, has come under fire from irate Yelp reviewers, incensed by the “Mr. President” cupcake, described as an “Oreo (™) Cookie baked inside white cake, cookies n’ cream buttercream.” One extremely sensitive Yelper (ugh) named “Don P.” took issue with this name, crying racism. Excuse me, I’m sorry, but what?

“Very troubling,” he wrote in a review on September 10. “They were serving a cupcake called the “Mr President” that had an Oreo cookie inside. When I tried to point out the racism implied, they claimed that ‘our current president loves Oreos.’”

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Anjelica Hayes, the owner of Fat Cupcakes, is black. She is also “unequivocally not racist.” Speaking to the Oregonian by phone on Monday to address these allegations, she said with what I imagine was exasperation, “I have been asked this so many times.” The cupcake was named after President Obama because it’s a really good fucking cupcake. A fancy cupcake. A delicious cupcake with a goddamn Oreo cookie nestled inside — a cookie that Hayes had heard was Obama’s favorite. What a delicious and non-racist coincidence.

“What sounds like it would be really fancy?” she told the Oregonian. “We thought of the presidential office. I just thought it was an honorary name. I thought I’d be honored if someone named a cupcake after me.” Fair point, Anjelica! It’s a fine name for a cupcake. It’s a fucking cupcake. It’s not racist. Still, because Portland is home to some sensitive-ass motherfuckers and Hayes would like her cupcake company to stay in business, she changed the name of the cupcake to “The Professional.”

If you find yourself with fingers poised over the keyboard, ready to write a one-star Yelp review of a cupcake place as a means of expressing your awokening via manufactured rage, step away. Go outside. Take a deep breath. Go take a cold shower. There are so many things in the world that are racist. This cupcake is not.