I’ve had to remind myself, as I scroll through these photos of some teens at an under-18 nightclub who have all adopted the same bizarre, inscrutable pose, that teens are not known for graceful control over their body. We’ve all been here, at one time, I think.
A hand placed smack dab in the middle of the face, head on to the camera. Yes: that’s the look.
The shots were taken at something called Epic_Under18s, which sounds like a website that should be investigated by the FBI. These party-loving teens grabbed their friends, the most risqué fashions H&M and Forever 21 have to offer (and that their parents would purchase for me) and hit the town—hand over face.
So what are they doing?
It’s easiest to believe some teen who had previously been designated as “cool” did it once and the rest just followed along because, to answer your mother’s question, of course we’d would jump off the bridge if all our friends were doing it.
Another theory is they all have braces and are embarrassed of said braces and this is just a clever diversion. Do you guys hate your noses? Trust me, your whole body will sort of even out eventually.
Perhaps they’re ashamed to be in a teen club and are trying to hide their faces. Or maybe their parents didn’t know where they went last Friday night and yep, this will fool them.
It’s also possible these teens are cooler than all of us and we’re all going to be doing this exact same pose in three to six months but we’ll looks like assholes because we are not teens.
Now, to be fair to the teens, there’s not a person alive who looks cool in a club party pic.
I’d now like to speak to the teens specifically. Guys, fam, put the Snapchat down. Kylie Jenner is probably still asleep anyway. (Did I get their attention?) You have your whole life to go to shitty clubs and take unflattering pictures. Believe me, the time will come. There’s no need to get started this early. No need whatsoever. In a few years that will fly by at an astonishing rate, you’ll find yourself with a very full bladder waiting outside of a bathroom with the knowledge that four models and a finance bro are in there doing cocaine, and you’ll look around at that dark, cloudy venue—$60 poorer and your eardrums 3 percent weaker—and you’ll say to yourself: “Why?” Just, “why?”
Think about that the next time you have the urge to roll up to an under-18 club and slap your hand over your face—or at least explain to me what it means.