Special liquid underwear helps pervs to have orgasms in strip clubs

Special liquid underwear helps pervs to have orgasms in strip clubs

Today's lonely man who hangs around strip clubs wants a lot more than to see some skin and have a drink or three. He wants to have an orgasm from a stripper rubbing herself on his crotch. But this is apparently painful and unsightly, not to mention gross and pathetic, so please welcome the new "Liquid Lapdance" undergarment for gentlemen.

Here, in the NSFW creep language of a strip club aficionado, is an apparent real review of the Liquid Lapdance panty—yes they are basically rubber panties—and how it performs under pressure, so to speak:

The pants basically look like a bikini and have a big pouch in front to put your dick and possibly balls. Wasn't so sure if you are supposed to put your balls and dick in the pouch. I tried doing that and it felt a little cramped, was worried the dancer would crush my balls if they were stuck in the pouch, maybe that would work, but was afraid to try it that way, so I just left my dick in, with the balls hanging out. It worked pretty good. The The lube works well with the pouch as it slides very easily up and down your cock during the dance and feels really really good, that is definitely the biggest plus with these pants Another plus is you don't have that raw dick feeling after getting 3 or 4 dances with your pants or underwear rubbing up and down on your cock. Of course the pouch nicely prevents in leakage onto the dancer in event of an eruption which was also a big plus. The one downside I can see to these pants though is what happens if you get a girl that wants to put her hands down your pants and grab your cock. WTF will she think when she sees those crazy looking pants and the coc

k lubed up? lol. not sure how often I'll wear these, but again will say the dances did feel good with them on + the liquid lube on the cock.

"It worked pretty good."

Also the best thing about Liquid Lapdance is that if you're a dude who likes getting orgasms at the strip club while your wife or girlfriend sits home crying about the huge mistake she made, the company will send your disposable strip-club orgasm panties in a box that says "European Penis Bath."

You know, so she won't be angry or suspicious.

European Penis Bath.

Special liquid underwear helps pervs to have orgasms in strip clubs

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Original post by Katie J.M. Baker on Jezebel

These Liquid Lapdance Pants Store Your Jizz, Prevent Unsightly Stains

These Liquid Lapdance Pants Store Your Jizz, Prevent Unsightly Stains

Liquid Lapdance undergarments are "special pants" — "the best strip club invention since the pole" — that make lap dances feel "exactly like sex" for men. The founders are so confident that dudes will be satisfied with/in their product that they offer refunds to those who don't orgasm in their Liquid Lapdance lap dance pants.

It's unclear what the pants look like or how they work from the introductory video, which is extremely NSFW/involves a baffling amount of arm-licking/shows a whole lot of women's underwear but fails to reveal the Liquid Lapdance pants themselves. Luckily, this product description explains it all (somewhat):

Liquid Lapdance is worn by men, underneath the clothing. Each pair has a soft, latex extension in front to caress and stimulate the male anatomy. Add a squirt of lube, and you're ready for the best lap dance of your life.

Benefits:

1. They moisturize and lubricate your penis. A moisturized penis is more sensitive than a dry penis. As the dancer glides her body over yours, you will feel her much more intensely. One reviewer described it as the difference between standard and high definition.

2. They provide you with the space to get fully-erect. Most underwear is not designed to be worn when you're rock hard. Ours is. Expand in comfort.

3. They take the pain out of lap dances. Dry lap dances can be quite painful. Many guys avoid lap dances for this reason. Liquid Lapdance takes the pain out of lap dances. We've tested them with big butts, bony butts and even granny butts! No pain, our testers still made it rain! LL is designed for the grind!

4. They contain your semen. When a guy has an orgasm during a lap dance, it can be quite awkward if he's not wearing Liquid Lapdance. A wet stain typically forms on the guy's crotch, and semen may get on the dancer, where it is often unwelcome. With Liquid Lapdance, you can relax and fully-enjoy the orgasm without worrying about minimizing or containing ejaculation as you might in regular underwear.

You want user reviews? Of course you do. You might have to take a shower after reading them, though:

"Feels like two lubed ass-cheeks sliding up and down."

"Imagine a pair of oiled titties bouncing up and down your cock."

"I wouldn't say it felt like sex. More like a blow job, a hand job, whacking off, anal sex, and titty-fucking all in one."

"Kinda like fucking a really loose pussy."

"Professional naked girl" Jolene Parton brings up a good question:

In summary, Liquid Lapdance pants are like Depends for bros.

[h/t @JoleneStarshine]

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