With only two seasons of Real Housewives of New Jersey under her belt, Danielle Staub has solidified herself as one of the most controversial and scandalous cast members of the entire Real Housewives franchise. And now she’s back, not in an official role, but as “friend” of one-time enemy Teresa Giudice.
During seasons 1 and 2 of New Jersey, Staub was almost crushed by a table thrown by Giudice, sued one of her fellow Housewives’ daughters after she had her hair pulled at Kim D.’s infamous Posche fashion show, went head to head with Manzo fambly matriarch Caroline and told her she looked like a clown, gave one of the most embarrassing striptease lessons of all time, and was haunted by the book written by her ex husband which accused her, among other things, of being a prostitution whore.
Also, she spoke inappropriately about sex and dating to her sad young daughters, was hooking up with a younger balding man named “Steve” who told friends that he stopped by Danielle’s daily for blow jobs, brought a rat-faced ex-con named Danny to events for “protection,” and was never once able to pronounce the singular of “women.” And this is only what I’m able to remember off the top of my dome.
But that’s a’ fuckin’ nuff about the past because Danielle is here in the now. Not a full cast member (only time will tell), but certainly present enough to angrily smash a few glasses at a formal dinner and get the typically calm Dolores to scream in her face. Looks like she might inspire Teresa to start throwing furniture around again, as well.
With an increased focus on real, painful, and consequence-laden family strife, Jersey has gotten overtly depressing in recent seasons, leading some of us (me) to stop watching it completely in favor of kookier options like Dallas or—my current fave—Auckland. Could villainous Danielle be the one to save the show? Stranger things have happened...