<![CDATA[Jezebel: Theknot.com]]> http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png <![CDATA[Jezebel: Theknot.com]]> http://jezebel.com/tag/theknot.com http://jezebel.com/tag/theknot.com <![CDATA[What's A Bride To Do When Her Caterer Is An Anti-Semitic Asshole?]]> The Knot.com's messageboards bring us yet another bride in crisis. Poor Dawn-Marie! Her post on the "Planning & Etiquette" messageboard is titled please help :( and she writes:
I have A big prob, I got engaged in May of last year and right away we started planning our wedding. We booked a place that was very well known for their great food. On this wed. we went to the food tasting to start picking what foods we would have out. My fiance, my mother, my grandmother (93 yrs old), a bridesmaid, a groomsman, and my soon to be step daughter (6). Right away the owner started using bad language that I would not like to say here. He called my fiance a "jew bastard", my man of honor a "gay ***". My brother is marring [sic] us and he kept calling him "the internet minister". He hung all over my bridesmaid and said he was going to get her dunk [sic] and take her to the hotel down the street. My step daughter asked why her uncle is a "***".
But wait, there's more! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=344368&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Isn't Anyone On TheKnot.com Having Sex?]]> Poor TheKnot.com message boarder k&b10312002. She turned to her fellow brides-to-be for some advice: Seems the poor dear had a bad run-in with some tingling, warming lube! She was hoping the other gals might be able to recommend a more pleasurable alternative. But the Knotties are not naughty at all! In fact, based on their responses, they might not be getting any. The wingedbride said "um...i really didnt' want to know that much about you." Mrs. Expchic said "Hellman's," and katie.i.do said "Jiffy." Jesus, girls, lighten up! And don't pretend you're too good to lube. Poor k&b10312002 signed off, dejectedly: "Sorry, just trying to liven things up. Didn't mean to offend." Don't be down k&b10312002! Forget TheKnot.com and bring that question on over here! Personally, might we suggest something water-based to help prevent a yeast infection? [The Knot] More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=319133&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[The Terrorists Win Again On TheKnot.com]]> Poor goldenshell84. She's marrying a man of mysterious "Middle Eastern descent" and her rich parents won't pay for the wedding, even though she lives in Manhattan and it's sooooo expensive. So naturally, she consults the good citizens on The Knot message boards. And they so totally understand her plight:
ootmother2:well, there are a good number of terrorists hiding in NYC. Does he drive a cab?
Funny you should mention terrorism, ootmom, because we're sort of starting to understand it! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=270225&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[A Word To The Wise: If You're Still Dealing With The Aftermath Of High-School Hook-Ups, You Probably Shouldn't Be Getting Hitched]]> We'll say it again: God bless the message boards of TheKnot.com. If not for it, where would poor, tormented brides like "Mrowdy" have to go to work out their like reallyreallyreally big problems with a community of anonymous frenemies? See, "Mrowdy" is getting married and having, like, 20 gajillion attendants in her wedding and told her fiance he had to do the same to, y'know, keep the symmetry. Only then the fiance went and picked Mrowdy's BFF's ex to be his best man, a guy she also almost made out with once. (Whoops!) More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=266159&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Hipsters Moving Towards Marriage Need... A 7-Speed Blender?]]> Thank god for TheKnot.com. They really do think of everything! Including a helpful "lifestyle" quiz that allows a girl to figure out, well, what her "lifestyle" is, in case she isn't quite sure. (Straight? Gay? Better decide before you get married!) But imagine our disappointment when we discovered the quiz is designed determine a bride-to-be's eating & drinking personality — which seems a little sadistic, considering most brides-to-be don't eat. Anyway, even though we're nowhere close to getting hitched, we decided to take the plunge for ourselves and discovered, sadly, that we've been branded "happy hipsters". Follow along, after the jump. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=264837&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[They Shoot Wedding Guests, Don't They?]]> Poor bride-to-be Beth! The Knot.com habitue's fiance's best man's girlfriend is a lush. And not in a fun, endearing kinda way. Nope, the best man's best girl is one of those mean, assaultive, violent drunks... the one whose drinking is the least of her problems because you know she's totally also popping pills when no one's looking! Anyway, not sure what to do about this most unwanted guest, Beth turned to the anonymous sisterhood cesspool that is TheKnot's "Planning & Etiquette" message board. And what did her fellow almost-weds suggest she do with the unruly girlfriend? Corporal punishment, of course! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=264615&view=rss&microfeed=true <![CDATA[Not So Modest Proposals]]> Call us crazy, but we're pretty sure that there is nary a marriage-minded, straight dude out there trolling the editorial content of TheKnot.com in his spare time. Hence our confusion regarding the massive amount of space (not to mention time — we pity the poor intern who had to compile this list) given to the feature "100 Ways To Pop The Question." After the jump, some of TheKnot's not-so-modest proposals. More »
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