The World’s Smallest Pony Has Probably Been Kidnapped by the Mafia

The curious case of a kidnapped pony in Italy is really an example of the sort of once-in-a-lifetime story that really reward the dedicated news cyclist. While attending the 47th annual National Horse Fair in Italy, Charlie, a 63 cm-tall pony billed by his apparently inattentive owners as the world’s smallest pony, was kidnapped. Probably by the Mafia! If only there were some sort of eccentric, ill-mannered pet detective Charlie’s owner could call…

According to a mostly unsympathetic little story in the Mail, Charlie was due to perform at the National Horse Fair in the Umbrian town of Città di Castello, but just before his debut, his owner, “equestrian artist” Bartolo Messina reported to police that Charlie’s tiny little stall was empty. Investigators say that horse thieves cut a wire fence around the fairgrounds, and made off with the tiny, portable Charlie through a nearby tobacco field, where a tiny car (probably a Fiat, but who knows, really?) was waiting.

The present theory is that the mafia is somehow behind Charlie’s disappearance, because OF COURSE the mafia has the corner on the exceptional-performing-animal-kidnapping racket. I was always under the impression that Peyton Manning was the only person who could revitalize the Ace Ventura franchise, but it looks like a tiny pony (read: Colt/Bronco) had to get kidnapped before Hollywood would take my idea seriously. Well, studio execs? Are you satisfied now that Charlie is missing?