Proving definitively that nothing in the world is as fun and exciting as it seems, Kate Middleton (WHO IS A PRINCESS, PROFESSIONALLY) went antique shopping and had an extraordinarily mundane time. Prince William remained in the car and looked "bored stiff," according to an eyewitness on the scene. In a related story, the moribund corpse of your childhood princess fantasies has let out one last desperate dying fart and expired.
Caroline Combe, who owns the Old Stables antique shop in Norfolk, told Tatler magazine that pregnant Kate Middleton came into her shop, having caught a whiff of sensible antique furniture from the street. "Such thin legs in her wellies," says Combe. Wellies! Not glass slippers. Not two large diamonds taped to her soles. Not even light-up sneakers. Just the shoes that the kindly farmer in Babe wears. Adds Ms. Combe, "She was looking at various things and asked for a discount." A DISCOUNT! Yes, a discount. Princess Kate Middleton thrust a handful of grubby pennies at the proprietor of Old Stables Antiques and whispered, "Please... just one dignified 18th century bureau.... for the baby...."