The Rules for Getting Laid: The Most Hilarious Self-Help Sex Book EverLaura Beck6/19/13 11:50amFiled to: sexhilariousadvicepuathe rules of getting laidbooks3124EditPromoteShare to KinjaToggle Conversation toolsGo to permalinkDavid Graff & Ray Schwartz's The Rules for Getting Laid promises that you can "Get the sex you want!" and also, "Feminist women and men will try to ban or burn this book!" so you know we had to check it out. I mean, burning books and bras are our top #1 favorite hobbies after cooking with our placentas and not shaving our legs.AdvertisementFirst, let's be thankful for the Small Things — the book opens by reminding dudes that "any sexual interactions with women must be consensual". Phew, now that we've got that mood dampener out of the way, we can get down to tricking the ladies into loving us (if only for one night).Basically all the advice is what people who want to have sex do already — approach someone you want to have sex with, see if they are also interested in having sex. If yes, have sex. If not, try again with someone else. AdvertisementPlease see:There are thousands of women who would be happy for you to fuck them tonight! You just don't know who they are and you give up too fast when you aren't willing to face rejection.That could easily be in a fortune cookie, no?I'm not totally sure why this book must be in existence, expect for us to laugh at it today. That said, I guess that's reason enough! SponsoredOf course, there's some "haha gross dumb fat chicks are desperate for your d" stuff in here:There is one important caveat about the women you will meet through personal ads or the on the internet—they are very, very likely to be fat ... It's best to think of them as practice arenas. But do use them, and do practice where your ego isn't on the line! Once you get used to being seductive, then you can move up to the strippers and Victoria's Secret models.I love how the authors manage to insult all people and the internet in one brief passage. Also, this book wasn't written in a time before the internet?? It sounds like some shit outta... I don't know when? A time before there were writing utensils? Or words? Or maybe I'm just delusional — this could easily be the course material for Jeffy's PUA 101 class. How depressing to know we live on the same planet as men who think the best way to get laid is to pretend to be someone you're not while simultaneously hating yourself and women.