The Onion Will Kill the Internet With Parody of Buzzfeed, Upworthy

The Onion is already everything you could ever want out of the sport we like to refer to as Internetting (sooner or later the Olympics will recognize this as an official medal-worthy event). But on Tuesday, they upped their game.

According to The New York Business Journal, The Onion is set to unveil a brand new site called Clickhole, which is perfectly named and probably as awesome as you are imagining it is. During a presentation for advertisers Tuesday, they laid out their plans for the new site:

It's a website that's "putting content and sponsored posts side by side, with barely any distinction between them," according to "Jim Haggerty," an Onion News Network host played by Brad Holbrook.

"People will climb into this click hole and find content so interesting they won't be able to keep it to themselves," "Haggerty" said. "Every post is engineered to be as shareable as possible, so it spreads like a deadly wildfire on social media."

A few items previewed from Clickhole.com include:

  • Quizzes like "Which pizza should I have for dinner tonight? (presented by Pizza Hut)"
  • Uplifting personal tales in list forms: "Seven pricks that defied the odds and didn't go into finance."
  • The aww factor: A video titled "What this adorable little girl says will melt your heart." (It's actually a cogent explanation of how brands monetize adorable little kids, as spoken by an adorable little kid.)
  • And finally, photo slide shows with no words: "Six kinds of hay."

OH DEAR GOD I CANNOT WAIT. The site will go live in June.

Image via Shutterstock.