Before we get into the trailer itself, allow me to set a scene for you. Not the scene of the movie, mind you. My scene. I am alone in an Airbnb, a continent away from 100 percent of the people I know. (Freelancing allows you these happy freedoms). A clock of unknown origin is ticking somewhere in the apartment, and a breeze is disturbing the blinds in a way that’s almost absurd in its foreboding.

I’m telling you this to stall, because I am terrified of watching this trailer.

What else? I have not seen a Darren Aronofsky film since The Wrestler, which caused me to faint in the theater. No, I have not seen Black Swan; I am aware of its theme and know I will immediately faint again.

I really don’t want to do this.

Okay fuck it let’s do this.

Okay, I did it, and because I am not watching it again, here is what I remember:

Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem have moved into a lovely old house, though it quickly becomes clear it was once the site of some deep, ineffable darkness. “She’s breathed life back into its rooms,” Bardem says, or something along those lines—again, I’m not watching it a second time.

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All seems well until one day, a withered but still somehow attractive Ed Harris appears at the front door. Bardem gives this unknown man permission to stay in the house, despite Lawrence’s very reasonable trepidation at letting a stranger enter their home. Why is it that men never seem capable of comprehending why a woman might find this upsetting?

Well, big mistake! Because now, we’ve got a Michelle Fuckin’ Pfeiffer knocking on the door, too. If you give a mouse a cookie, you know? Now the house is full of attractive, middle-aged strangers, and Lawrence is suddenly drinking a neon yellow concoction and the freshly painted walls are turning black and there’s a photo of Bardem in their luggage! “You were going through their luggage?” Bardem says accusingly, and then a lightbulb explodes, there’s blood, there’s Lawrence’s surprised face, and a bunch of people on the lawn with flashlights!

Variety reports that Kristen Wiig is there somewhere—I’m not sure whether she made it into the trailer because I admit I may have closed my eyes at some point.

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The most unnerving thing about all of this to me is the exclamation point at the end of “Mother!”

I hope this has been constructive for you. The breeze is still upsetting the blinds, but I am too scared to get up and close the window.