Britney Spears has released the video for her song "Perfume" and it is not good. We knew it wouldn't be good. The song is not good. The lyric video was not good. And yet, there is something, dare I say, interesting*, about how not good this video is.
* In this article "interesting" can be roughly translated to mean "the only things worth commenting on."
1. How dead her love interest looks in this film when he is presumably a living man
He could totally get a job at Madame Tussaud's as a wax figurine with those sculpted, hairless abs.
2. The idea that people put on perfume by posing like this
Or that anyone has a bathroom lit from the outside by this particular color of fuchsia.
3. How long it took for Britney Spears to product place her own perfume
One minute and 39 seconds.
4. The bravery of admitting that you are a disgusting human who lies on a bed without a fitted sheet on it after sex.
5. This fake text message
APPLE DID NOT APPROVE THIS VIDEO.
6. The title cards
7. The girl who plays the "other woman"
is also looks like Ted Mosby's daughter on How I Met Your Mother
Her name is Lyndsy Fonseca and she has been on Desperate Housewives, Nikita, etc. Now you know.
Apparently this girl is not Lyndsy Fonseca but actress Alandrea Martin. Martin finds Fonseca "gorgeous and talented!" however. Now you know.
8. When the Other Woman and the Hot Wax Figurine give the finger to absolutely no one/the world
A blink-and-you-missed it moment of rebellion demonstrating their true love.