Image via AP.

Taylor Swift, Tennessee woman and alleged victim of workplace grab-assing, took to the witness stand this week in a fabulous display of fire and backbone.

In 2015, since-fired DJ David Mueller from Denver radio station KYGO sued Swift, seeking up to $3 million, arguing that her accusation that he grabbed her entire ass cheek during a photo-op was a ploy to cost him his job. Well, on Friday the lawsuit was thrown out by the judge. Which would preemptively spare us from whining about the fact that the jury skews female, except that the jury will now decide whether Mueller’s claims against Swift’s mother and her radio promotions manager are valid. Closing statements are expected on August 14th.

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Her mom testified that the alleged assault made her want to puke. But Swift’s unwavering testimony took the day, and because this matters, I’m compiling some of the best of Swift’s testimony from the news:

To Mueller’s attorney Gabriel McFarland:

“I am critical of your client for sticking his hand under my skirt and grabbing my ass.”

“Gabe, this is a photo of him with his hand up my skirt — with his hand on my ass,” she said. “You can ask me a million questions — I’m never going to say anything different. I never have said anything different.”

“I am being blamed for the unfortunate events of his life that are a product of his decisions and not mine.”

On why the front of her skirt was not lifted:

“Because my ass is located in the back of my body,” Swift said.

Snaps are coming in from around the internet, deserved. Possibly most notably for former Fox News host Gretchen Carlson, whose allegations against Roger Ailes started the chain of events leading to the company-wide sexual harassment shitshow over there:

In reply to this:

Gretchen Carlson re-affirmed that she considers herself a feminist:

Lena Dunham chimed in too.

Swift’s countersuit still stands, and to top it off, she’s suing only for $1 just to make a statement.

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Thus concludes one of the top five best statements made by a pop star in 2017, but I can’t remember the rest because this is so great.


Kylie Jenner is now the wealthiest of all the people to whom Kris Jenner has given birth, the New York Observer reports.


Can monogamy survive? Only celebrities know, and the answer is probably not forever, but yes for a while. Reflecting on Anna Faris and Chris Pratt’s separation, Kristen Bell has told E! News that Hollywood marriages are hard, though even if she and Dax Shepard get divorced, it doesn’t cancel out the sum of their relationship.


  • Speaking of which, Brangelina returns?? Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have paused the divorce proceedings. [E! News]
  • A photographer interrupted Usher’s salad to ask him about his alleged HSV-2 and whether he had spread the STI to the three people suing him. He resumed his salad without comment. [TMZ]
  • Lauren Conrad put her Brentwood home on the market for $4.5 million, described here in impressive detail. Relatedly, she is now “making babies.” [Variety]