The Last Thing Putin Needs Is to 'Man Up'

Over the weekend, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), appearing on CNN's State of the Union, remarked that Russian president Vladimir Putin needed to "man up." What Feinstein meant, of course, is that Putin needs to grow up because manning up is the last thing that this bear-wrestling, gun-shooting shirtless horse rider/megalomaniac needs to do right now.

Speaking on flight MH17, Sen. Feinstein told State of the Union host Candy Crowley that "the nexus between Russia and the separatists has been established very clearly."

She continued:

"So the issue is: where is Putin? And I would say, Putin, you have to man up. You should talk to the world. You should say if this was a mistake — which I hope it was — say it. Even if it was a mistake, it's a horrendous mistake to make. I think it points out the futility of what's happening in the Ukraine, because there will be repercussions from this."

Of course we can all take Sen. Feinstein's "man up" comment in the spirit that it was given, but it's funny (and terrifying!) to imagine how someone like Putin — the type of guy who seems hell-bent on proving his masculinity through acts both dangerous (the invasion of Crimea) and mundane (making you watch as he practices karate) — would respond.

Considering how the Russian leader has dealt feedback from female politicians in the past (Putin responded to criticism from Hillary Clinton by saying that "It's better not to argue with women"), it seems unlikely that he'll take Sen. Feinstein's remarks too seriously. Certainly not seriously enough to carry out diplomacy like an adult, but maybe — if we're particularly unlucky — we'll be subjected to the following 'manly' propaganda:

  • Sharknado re-edited with Putin as the protagonist.
  • Putin entering a hot dog eating contest, refusing water, winning anyway.
  • Putin reading a lot of Franzen.
  • Putin uses old DNA to create a real life Jurassic Park for hunting dinosaurs. Winkingly wears a t-shirts reading "Clever Girl."
  • Putin starts World War III.

Start manning down, Putin! MAN DOWN.

Image via Getty.