We all can't be winners in life, and lord does this cat prove it.
This video may be from 2012, but let me tell you it is a gem. More importantly, it's a crucial instructional video for those who find themselves in a sticky situation, like being trapped in a bathroom, with a riled up cat. Do not touch the cat. Do not approach the cat. Just gently toss a slice of ham onto its face and the situation (the cat) will be defused.
Keep in mind that if you're attempting to disarm a dog in a similar way, a treat the fraction of a slice of ham will suffice.