Last night on the red carpet at the AMAs, there were a lot of hot white outfits, a smattering of cool dark gowns and just the right number of what the fuck getups.
We'll start with the dudes. R. Kelly has some kind of leather skirt kilt panel. In horn-rimmed glasses and a skinny suit, J.Lo's boyfriend Beau "Casper" Smart looks smart.
Doing what they do: 2 Chainz, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Dave Grohl (with Jordyn Blum).
In tux jackets with narrow-leg pants: Jesse McCartney, Trevor Jackson, Tyga. In black on black instead of Browncoat: Nathan Fillion.
Nelly and Marc Anthony keep it casual. Austin Mahone is on his way to the woodsprite prom.
Black jeans and apathy: Fall Out Boy.
Black and gray and heartthrobby all over: One Direction.
In ten years when the Harry Styles solo project goes number one, Zayn Malik will be on a beach in Ibiza doing Sudoku.
On to the ladies!
Lady Godivga arrived by horse, wearing same Versace gown she rocks in the brand's new ad campaign.
Jennifer Hudson and Sarah Silverman both look gorgeous in citrusy, juicy, bright dresses, even if JHud's hem is a little cray.
Also fab in vivid hues: Rocsi Diaz, Jenna Ushkowitz.
Shiny in sequins: Ariana Grande. Her expression matches mine when it comes to this gown. Mmkay.
Shiny in baggy pewter: Emma Roberts. It's kind of misshapen but I like it, and love the amethyst accents.
Shiny in silver with gold-studded hair: Kelly Osbourne. She got some shit for this Rami Al Ali gown, but I think it's lovely.
More shiny: Taylor Swift in some remnants from a Solid Gold dancer's giveaway pile. (The dress is by Julian McDonald. That horrifying delta of venus-shaped pantyhose patch on the front wasn't there when it was shown on the runway. Someone added it. Downgrade.)
Zoe Saldana's asymmetrical gown is sitting right on that line between appealing and appalling. At first glance yes but then on second glance no and then on third glance, hideous. And doesn't she need some lipcolor? It brightens the face!
Ciara's dress leaves very little to the imagination, but at this point we've seen so much illusion/sheer/nakedness on the red carpet it's like whatever.
OMFG Joan Jett looks amazing in black and navy with a touch of purple, the epitome of I love rock'n roll. Not to get all She Has Had It but can I get a yassss kween?
Before she put on her pan-Asian show, Katy Perry went retro romantic in chiffon polka dots and embroidered flowers. Very sweet. Do we like the Dictionary clutch?