George Zimmerman's Girlfriend Drops Assault Charges Because: True LoveS

George Zimmerman's girlfriend, who just last month called 911 after she says the man who killed — BUT DID NOT MURDER — unarmed black teenager Trayvon Martin was threatening her with a gun, is now saying that she "misspoke" and that she wants to drop charges and be with George again. If Lifetime original movies about abusive men with violent pasts and the women who keep going back to them have taught me anything, it's that there's no way that this could possibly end tragically!

Last month, Samantha Scheibe called 911 after she and her boyfriend, nonmurderer George Zimmerman, got into a heated altercation. According to her 911 call, Zimmerman broke a table and pointed a gun at her for a moment; her boyfriend made a 911 call of his own and contended, basically, bitch be crazy. Zimmerman was arrested, released on bail, and ordered not to have any guns.

Now, Scheibe is claiming she "misspoke" and was "intimidated" by police, who during questioning deprived her of food and water. Except that's not at all what happened. From CNN,

In the court document filed this week, Scheibe accuses police of pressuring her.

"When I was being questioned by police, I felt very intimidated," she said. "I was not allowed to call an attorney nor was I allowed to eat or drink anything for a very long time."

Heather Smith, a spokeswoman for the Seminole County Sheriff's Office, denied that claim.

"As you know, we provided media with the 911 call from Ms. Scheibe, which occurred prior to deputies responding," she said. "Apparently, Ms. Scheibe may have misspoken about the facts of her interview as she had access to her phone and was provided with food."

Pretty sassy police spokeswomanning there, Heather Smith, but not as sassy as the Florida Woman Twitter account's summary of the story:

Scheibe is saying now that she would like to forget this whole business with George Zimmerman waving a gun around like a fucking lunatic. She wants to "talk and be together." Meanwhile, I watched Eve's 1999 video for "Love Is Blind" four times between reading this story and writing about it.