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In one of the few good stories this week, the hoity-toity bar and hotel Chateau Marmont is threatening a cat grooming service with a lawsuit for making an adorable pun.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, lawyers for the Andre Balazs-owned hot spot have notified the proprietor of the Cateau Marmont, Jennifer Shields, that she better come up with a new name for her business; for instance, Sunset Meower Hotel or the Fairmont Mirameow or the Beverly Cheshire:

The Chateau has spent nearly a hundred years cultivating its brand, according to the July 18 letter, and it doesn’t want its customers to think it has entered the cat spa business. Group 99, which controls the Chateau’s intellectual property, warns the Cateau that it may pursue claims for trademark infringement, trademark dilution and unfair competition.

Shields’ lawyer, R. Joseph Trojan, sent a cutting response that questions the Chateau Marmont’s commitment to animals, period:

“No bar services are offered to the cats at any time,” writes Trojan. “To our knowledge, your client has never used its luxury hotel rooms to shelter homeless animals.”

Trojan also suggests that the hotel’s brand can’t be lessened because no one has heard of it outside a small, rich clientele of “elites and well-heeled hipsters.” Me-OW! If the hotel withdraws its complaint, Shields promises not to start catering to humans at Cateau, which is too bad, because it’s starting to sound like a place I want to go.

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Most damning of all is the fact that there is already a Chateau Marmutt in Beverly Grove, which has been open for about two decades. You can tell from the name who they cater to, and it seems like Balazs hasn’t said boo about it. I, for one, will never patronize the Chateau Marmont again, or in fact even for the first time, until these double standards are addressed!